College and A Novel

Sunday Selcetion on Saturday Europe

2012-01-28T15:15:00.004-06:00

More photos of Europe. Sunday Selections is brought to you by KIM.

I'm going to DC

2012-01-25T21:32:00.003-06:00

SO I am heading to DC in March, about two weeks after my niece is born, but since we just found out that my brother is being deployed in June for six months she will continue to be in Arkansas until he returns from his deployment, giving me many opportunities to visit my niece/have my niece visit me.

Why am I going to DC, well for Reason Rally. I am so excited to go. I was not sure if I would be. I was going to take my little brother but my parents don't want him going without one of them and that is just not possible at the moment. But because he is not going I can now afford to fly, one ticket way cheaper than two. It will be a short trip as I have to work the Monday after, but because it is a short week the week before I get to leave Friday which means I don't have to rush and can enjoy my time more.

I am a little nervous about traveling alone, I mean I have been on a plane before and on my own but I was always meeting someone, a friend my brother, my family, this will be my first time having to arrange everything and be responsible for everything in a place I am not familiar with. Now I will only have to take a train and then be able to walk so I am not super worried about transportation once there but it all is still a bit nerve racking. But I am really excited and cannot wait it should be a good time.

Happy New Year! 2012

2012-01-01T00:55:00.002-06:00

Goodbye 2011 Hello 2012

2011-12-30T22:11:00.007-06:00

A lot has happened this year. I turned 21, my nephew turned 1, I found out I was going to be an aunt again but with a niece on the way, I came to the realization that my beliefs had change(recently which is why no post on it yet later on this will come later in the post), we got a new dog(a great Dane named Deo, we got Rose last year she is a Australian Shepard lab mix, Callie is not happy but has gotten used to them a bit), got to see family I hadn't seen in a while, got frustrated with school, had a break through on my writer block, and oh so much more that I can't think of because it's nearly 1am. I am also looking forward to the new year. I already have some things planed, lots of travel(well at least that is in the near future), graduation from University(I know I may have to change the name of my blog), and a lot of unknown.

So as for the past year I feel like I have had a lot of ups which makes for a good year. I may not be where I want to be in my personal life but hey you really can't force that now can you, however as for school and work and my novel I am in a good place, yes I need to make more time to write but the last few months away from it to relax has been helpful,no writers block just needed to think and get the story straight.

Now the change in beliefs. I don't talk about it much as unless you are going out to talk about beliefs and what not I've been taught not to really talk about mine but this is my blog so I am going to and probably will be doing so more in the future. So I discovered I was closer to atheist then theist which in all honesty I've felt that for a while not knowing if there was a god and well through research and exploration I feel there is not, however I do have thoughts about it if there by some chance there happens to be one or many. Again more to come in the future on this. That being said I am closer to being agnostic atheist then just atheist but my views are still developing so who knows where they will go. Already I know i will be attending the Reason Rally in DC this March 24th, my younger brother and I will be hopefully taking a bus to DC to attended the event and we are both really excited(I say hopefully because it is not for sure that the bus will be going until in March, enough people have to sign up for seats for it to leave from Austin).

My niece should be born sometime in the week prior to the Reason Rally and going to the Rally will most likely delay when I get to see her which is okay I didn't meet Zander until a few weeks after his birth as he was in Dover and I could only take the week of Thanksgiving off at the time and I am trying to take as little time off as possible as work may be changing as well but it is too soon to talk about in more detail yet, But I will see Kenzi shortly after her birth since she will be in Arkansas which is just a short 7 to 9 hour drive from Austin, no big deal.

All in all I am looking ahead to the new year and will do my best to write more as well as many other things I plan to make more time for.

Post xmas

2011-12-28T10:00:00.003-06:00

Well first off today is my dad's birthday. So Happy Birthday to him. We had a good xmas nice quite simple. My sister-in-law is going to Arkansas to have Kenzi, but I believe it haas more to do with my brother getting crap at work then the need for her to learn to drive though she will be stuck in Arkansas for at least two month after Kenzi is born so she can be properly vacinated before going back to Dover. This makes it easier for me and my family in Texas to see her as the drive to Arkansas is cheaper than tickets to Dover. And I believe that is all right now.

Sunday Selections Europe part 4

2011-12-18T09:44:00.006-06:00

Sunday Selections is brought to you by KIM! These pics are from Spain. That chocolate stuff in the first one was soooooo good.

Chance to travel

2011-12-16T22:50:00.002-06:00

So I am a part of the National Society of Collegiate Scholars and as part of that I have been accepted to have a chance to travel internationally Australia being one of the places to chose from and while I would really love to do it I can't. Don't just because it is expensive I could get a scholarship and probably even save the money if I saved all that was left after bills from my paycheck. No the problem is school. I go to classes year round with a one week break between each ten week term and while it will have me finishing my degree this October it makes it hard to travel like that with a group that has a planed schedule for the time that I would be their. Now if I planed a trip myself it would be different I could plan in the school work my seminars would be the only tricky thing as they are done in eastern time but still it would be possible but not on a group trip like that it just does not work. I really want to do it but it would also require me to take two weeks off work and that would make paying the bills for that month tight. I am sad I cannot go but right now I have to think logically.

Sunday Selections Europe part 3

2011-12-11T10:29:00.006-06:00

Sunday Selections is brought to you by KIM. The first three photos where taken in Barcelona, Spain the last was taken in Paris.

Sunday Selections Europe part 2

2011-12-04T10:16:00.006-06:00

Sunday Selections is brought to you by KIM at frogpondsrock. These are Paris and Biarritz, one is from the top of the Arc de Triomphe. On is a cool view up from right under the Eiffel Tower. Then the beach shot is the beach in Biarritz that was taken on my 16th birthday and the cake was my birthday cake that we had at the restaurant that we went to to have dinner.

Thankgiving

2011-11-24T09:32:00.000-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving. Hope every has a great day.

Update and some thoughts

2011-11-18T23:27:00.002-06:00

So it has been a while since I did a decent post. Halloween was uneventful a normal day at work and then a quite night in, my family got back late from bringing my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew to Arkansas. We went back there the following weekend for my nephew's first birthday. It was a good time and it was fun to see how happy he was with the cake, thought he is allergic it would seem to the food coloring. I do have picture but they are still on my camera haven't had a chance to get them onto a computer yet. Some things went down that weren't so great but they are still up in the air so I can't really talk about them yet. My sister-in-law is pregnant again it's a girl Mackenzi Renee. She is due in March on my little brother due date actually, though Wesley got evicted (mom was educed so she did not give birth in the car on the way to the hospital, older brother born in about an hour fifteen minutes of active labor I was forty five minutes they were scared it would reduce again an it did mom had only about thirty minutes of active labor with the little brother). Though since Zander was born via c-section Kenzi(or Zi(pronounced z)) has to as well as it has not been enough time for my sis in law to try naturally. But we are all excited if not a little shocked, Kenzi and Zander will only be 16 months apart.

My grandfather who has been in bad health recently is doing worse we don't know how much longer he has but it is probably not very long. I don't know how I feel about this as I have never had a good relationship with him. He tried to beat me when I was only five because I tried to kick my seven year old cousin who was living with us at the time out of the house my grandparents were visiting and were in their RV out in the yard which is where my cousin went, I had to barricade a door until my parents got home and yelled at my grandfather because in their mind it did not matter what I did they would not beat me or let him beat me. I have no other strong memories of him and from what I have been told of my mother's childhood she(well not so much she, she was practically invisible to her parents no matter what she did) and her sibling were beaten regularly in today's society they would have been removed from their home. So it hard to feel sad for a man that was so terrible add to that that he was an alcoholic, a functioning one but still and knowing that part of that fueled my mother's(well when she did get them) , aunts, and uncle's( two aunts one uncle that died before I was born but that is a story for a different post) beating makes it harder. I know my grandmother will be sad an my mom and that makes it hard but I don't know how I will truly feel and that is hard.

There is something I want to write about but can't yet as it has not been dealt with yet I will be dealing with it soon and then probably feel compelled to write about it.

My computer is still dead and while I've gotten my novel back it is hard to write when I know I have to save it in multiple places. I really need a new computer but there is just so much other stuff going on right now that it hard to think about shelling out the money needed to get a decent laptop that will last a good few years, well hopefully more than a few years.

Well that is it fir now I guess hopefully I will be writing more on here at least.

Sunday Selections random

2011-10-22T18:55:00.002-05:00

Sunday Selections is brought to you by KIM

Sunday Selections Massachusetts part 2

2011-09-17T21:01:00.005-05:00

More pica from Massachusetts. Sunday Selections is brought to you by KIM

Sunday Selections Europe Edition part 1

2011-09-10T22:51:00.007-05:00

This week pictures from my Europe trip in the summer of 2006. I think I will be posting many of this theme for a while as these photos have been lost since the summer of 2008 until recently. Sunday Selections is brought to you by Kim at Frogpondsrock.

The Eiffel Tower from the distance I think I was on a roof of some sort

Awesome bench in Barcelona

Dessert at my 16th Birthday in Biarritz

Random Cow on a street in Paris

Sunday Selections Massachusetts edition

2011-09-03T21:32:00.008-05:00

Here are some pictures from a trip to Massachusetts a few years back.

The house I lived in when we lived in Mass.

The house my dad grew up in.

My mom's old house that she grew up in.

Sunday Selections...

2011-08-27T16:12:00.006-05:00

I have found some of my pictures, YES. Two are of Zander around Easter of 2011. The other is B the little girl I watch from last Halloween.

I want to be lazy

2011-08-27T12:14:00.002-05:00

As we know I have my book back but because of school and work I actually haven't had the time I wanted to work on it. School is the real killer. I am on week 8 of the 10 week term but oh how I wish it were done, though that only gives me a week break before starting two new classes. I have about five terms left after the current one ends which is great but I wish the breaks were longer. I will say that I have been writing in my head, I have a good portion set up I just need put it to paper. I wish I could be lazy and write what I want to write instead of having to write parers. Well the stress should be over in about a year and hopefully I will be able to work on my novel during this year.

Good News

2011-08-12T11:41:00.002-05:00

And I am going to be an aunt again. It would seem that my sister in law is pregnant again. She is in a state of shock as my nephew is only 9 months old. The baby is due sometime in March.

I'v got it Back

2011-07-30T11:21:00.001-05:00

So I got an external hard drive and now have my novel back as well as pictures that have been missing for years from another computer. So I am very happy now and will be working hard on my novel so that I can finish it.

A little Lost

2011-07-20T10:01:00.003-05:00

So it has been over a month since my last post. Since my computer died I have not been able to work on my novel, while we have a server and most of my book is on it it is mussing some of the latest things I had written before my computer died. So until I can get an external hard drive and get my computer to people who work with computers I am left with no way to work on my novel which has left me not in a writing on the blog mode. I had a great time traveling, got to see family that I hadn't seen for a while plus I got to see my nephew again but it was too short as I was only there for the weekend. So I am hoping to be able to get my computers contents soon which means I hopefully will be writing here more

Zander at 6 months and my Mom

Travel

2011-06-15T10:26:00.002-05:00

I will be going to Massachusetts at the beginning of July. My family has things to do and well I didn't want to spend that weekend with the small remainder of relatives that would be in town still, plus my mother is making my brother drive up so I will get to see my nephew again. The only problem is that it has pretty much killed my finances for the month so that kinda sucks. But whatever I get to see family.

Also I have mentioned it before but my computer died and I and bouncing from the other computers left in the house to try to stay online and connected, which is why I have not been posting Sunday Selections lately as I do not have my pictures.

The big One

2011-06-03T22:56:00.000-05:00

Well it's my birthday today and it's the big 21. It was a great day and I had a good time.

Sunday Selections hopefully

2011-05-21T19:38:00.003-05:00

Not a lot today as my motherboard died and I am using my mothers computer until I can get a new one and transfer my stuff from the hard-drive to the new computer which will hopefully be soon. Anyways this meme is brought to you by KIM!

Posting some of my old writing

2011-05-18T10:35:00.004-05:00

So this is a piece I wrote in high school. I goes with a piece I wrote years ago on here, though it came first and I would have posted it then but could find it. Anyways it is a sad piece as it was written when I was in a fairly dark place though as I've said before I am also just good at writing dark as I been perfectly happy while writing dark before, not the case for these two pieces but yeah. Anyways you can find the second piece here. This is just a warning that it is not the happiest thing to read as the piece is tittled Suicide. But anyways here it is hope it gives you the chills.

I walked; just kept walking. Only I could hear the music, the world around me was oblivious to what was happening. Everything I saw was a sign and I knew what I had to do. The music got louder and I began to run. I ran through the streets filled with the ignorant people, filled with the smell of rotting skin; I could taste the vile fragrance in the air. I felt the moisture in the sky and knew it would be raining soon. It went straight to pouring and I stopped my run and returned to a walk. I knew it would be over soon.

I was there, I could see it in the distance; the tall sturdy shape I began to climb. Up I went past the windows and doors, the music still growing louder and still only I hearing it. I past the stars and the moon and the people around me still did not see what was happening. I reached the top, I shout “Stupid people” no one can hear me. I was above the moon and the stars; I was above all of them, above all the pain.

I jumped back into reality. The people below were all looking up and the music was gone. I could feel, smell, and taste the rain as it poured down. I was on the roof of a tall building and did not know how I got there. All the people were staring at me; “stop” I shouted and someone shouted something back, they could hear me not too. I couldn’t take reality; I closed my eyes.

When I opened my eyes reality was gone and the people again paid no attention to me as the music returned louder than before. The rain felt so cold on my skin and as the music got louder I looked up to the universe and wished something would come take me.

Reality again, people below now shouting “Don’t Jump! Stay where you are someone is coming to talk to you.” I don’t want this reality, the music is gone and people can see and hear me. I close my eyes and fell the tears mix with the rain.

The music is back and the people disappear. I begin to dance, the rain is still pouring and I am standing on grass now, it is wet and slippery. I start to spin round and round returning to childish games singing, “Ring around the rosy, Pocket full of poises, Ashes ashes we all fall down!”

And now I am falling, reality and fantasy mix. I hear someone yell “NO!” but only see the moon and the stars; there is music and a rainbow of colors swirling around me, but I hear people gasp and shout “no.” Then reality takes over completely and all I hear is a thump as my body hits the pavement and my soul floats above it.

The music is back and there is color everywhere. No more reality only fantasy. I see a light and follow it to a field where it always rains, where I can always hear the music, where I can always spin, and where I will never fall.

Sunday selections 15

2011-05-14T22:10:00.003-05:00

It is that time again, Sunday Selections brought to you by KIM.

Sunday Selections 14

2011-05-07T19:14:00.006-05:00

Okay Sunday Selection time. This meme is brought to you by Kim at Frogpondsrock. This week is catch for me these are from when I went to see my nephew when he was in Arkansas Easter Weekend. SO enjoy the cuteness.

Addictions part 7

2011-05-03T22:58:00.002-05:00

Yes I went back through to find out what number I was on.

Anyways my new addiction has to do with what unblocked my writers block. It is the music to Spring Awakening. And I know what you are all thinking I have no speakers on my computer that is true I have a CD of the music and listen to it in my car and to make that CD I had to file share with my mom's laptop and will steal hers to listen to the music when I can. However because I have no speakers it has stalled my writing as I don't generally write with other people around so I don't have access to music when I write and I really need it to write. But I have some money in savings and I think my school payment for this set of terms is fairly low and my parents are going to chip in as a Christmas/Birthday present, no I did not get a Christmas present yet and yes my Birthday is in a month from today. So I should hopefully have a new laptop in the next month or so and will be able to get back to writing and all that fun stuff.

So yes all I really listen to right now is the Spring Awakening music and it is wonderful. Now since I wrote all about Spring Awakening in my Writer's block unblocked post I am going to be done for now so...

Peace.

SO

2011-04-30T18:31:00.002-05:00

That series I want to do well it is going to have to wait. It would seem that my computer is slowly dieing. I do not have a bad driver or anything like that the motherboard is just slowing giving out or something like that, I have speakers intermittently and recently not at all no matter how many times I restart or shut down my computer. So until I get a new computer there will be no series that requires a mic and speakers.

Happy Easter

2011-04-24T22:39:00.000-05:00

I had a great Easter and hope everyone did. So Happy Easter!

Writer's Block Unblocked.

2011-04-20T17:03:00.002-05:00

So I have had very bad writer's block for a while now, and I mean like a good year a while now. It has affected/not really affected my blog as things would happen and the addictions post and what not would help me to keep writing on here but other than that I have not been able to work on either of my novels. Sleepless was beginning to bug me, I really wanted to be writing it but I was stuck and very much so stuck. And Confessions was becoming the same way actually I'm still not sure when I am going to pick that one back up to finish it, it is a sad and depressing subject matter and well although I am unblocked on Sleepless I am not sure where I want to go with Confessions right now.

Anyways I am very much so picking back up with Sleepless. I have to go back and tweak some things as I have slightly changed the subplot that is Emma and Leo's relationship but I am much happier with where this will take them in the long run so I don't mind having to go back and change a few small details that I have already wrote.

What broke my writer's block the musical Spring Awakening. It was on Broadway in 2007 and went until 2009 I think and I never got to see it then but I was watching YouTube last weekend and came across some clips and was able to find the whole play with the original cast and really all I can say is wow, it was amazing and has unlocked my head and allowed me to write again. So I am thankful.

It is a very controversial play and was banned in the US until the 1960's it was written in 1890 and is a German play that was adapted into a musical in 2001 I think but it took it until 2007 for it to make it to Broadway and I really wish I could have seen it live. It is something every teen should see in my opinion. I know controversial and teen what a thing to promote but hey if the teens don't then their parents should especially those parents ashamed or too scared to talk to their teens about sex because it is a very good story of what can happen when you keep your children in the dark about that subject. It is not a happy play but hey it is a good play.

So that is it for know my writer's block is gone thanks to Spring Awakening I am off to work on Sleepless now.

Sunday Selections 13

2011-04-16T19:04:00.006-05:00

So it is Sunday Selection time again. This week is from my High School Graduation, so I didn't take them also I graduated three years ago this May and have never blogged this before because I didn't start blogging till a few months later. Anyways Sunday Selections is brought to you my Kim at Frogpondsrock.

I had a lot of decorations.

Me and the only friend I still talk to from High school.

Random Stuff and other ramblings

2011-04-16T00:15:00.002-05:00

B's birthday was yesterday I was with her all day she was good and had a really nice birthday. Her party was last Saturday it was fun but I hardly knew anyone so that made it a little weird. We are working on potty training and it is not going so hot. It makes me sad since I am the one dealing with the messes but hey that is what it is.

I really am going to blog more I have a series in mind where I sing songs I like and explain why and all that I think I have mentioned this before it is taking me a while because my computer keeps saying I have no speakers, I have a laptop so this is really weird and if it doesn't stop/if my dad can't fix it I will have to take it somewhere to get it looked at.

Mt rents are in Arkansas right now and my mom brother and I are going next week which will mean new and updated picture of the beautiful baby Zander. I have more recent ones now but they are on my phone and I have to find the right cord in order to get them onto the computer.

Sunday Selections 12

2011-04-09T17:38:00.003-05:00

So it is Sunday Selection time again. If you want to join in go check it out at the wonderful KIM'S blog. And now two pics of my nephew.

Sunday Selections 11

2011-03-26T17:18:00.005-05:00

It is Sunday Selection Time again and of course this is brought to you by KIM

These are some more from ACL 08. The first is of The Foo Fighters they were the last to preform Sunday. The others are random things that were at the festival.

Addiction part I don't know cause I lost count

2011-03-20T11:37:00.002-05:00

My latest addiction Rent and the new Glee songs. I have loved Rent for a while but have just recently gotten back into it. I been listening to the songs for a good couple weeks now and am thinking about watching it again soon.

I absolutely love the Glee Original songs they are very catchy. I have been listening to them since they came out after the episode aired.

Which brings me to the idea I have for another series. I like to sing but have not done that for a while and well I would vlog but I would rather write my thought then speak them I will however record myself singing and write the reason I like the song and why I chose it, not sure how many I will do or when the first will be up but it should be soon.

I also promise that my next post will be longer.

Oh my little brother's birthday was a week ago, he had a good time even though he had to go to school. And that was also Aidan's birthday. My sis-in-law and nephew are in Arkansas and I will be visiting them in April I am very excited about that Zander will be 5 months old.

Sunday Selections 10

2011-03-19T22:06:00.005-05:00

So it is that time again, Sunday Selections brought to you by the wonderful KIM. Join in it is very fun.

These are pics from a while ago like 07 so I was 16 I think in the one I am in and yes they are of Aidan, I talked to him the other day he had gotten the birthday presents I had sent him and had called to thank me, I am going to have to find time to go visit him.

Oh and I will be posting more I promise, I have a few post ideas in my head so they should be coming soon.

Sunday Selections 9

2011-03-12T16:22:00.004-06:00

So it is Sunday Selections time again. This meme is brought to you by the lovely KIM. These are pics from my brothers Air Force Basic Training Graduation.

Sunday Selections 8

2011-03-05T19:37:00.006-06:00

Today for Sunday Selections brought to you by KIM are some pictures from three years ago. The boy is Aidan and it has been about the same since I wrote about him and it's been a year since I've seen him, sad yes but that is life for you.

Oh and yes I have tried the Vegemite that I got and well I can eat it but in very small amounts, and I mean very small amount.

Sunday Selections 7

2011-02-26T20:53:00.006-06:00

Wedding bells were in the air this week as KIM's, the wonderful woman who hosts this meme, daughter Veronica got engaged. So I chose to share pics from my brother very simple wedding(a justice of the peace in a hotel conference room in Maryland). He got married on April 4th and this April two days before my nephew, his son, turns 5 months old will be his 2 year wedding anniversary. I know they wasted no time.

Not sure what the title should be but thos is pretty much just a quick update on stuff

2011-02-23T20:07:00.002-06:00

So I bought some food from an Austrian goods site and so far I have only tried some jellies and they were good I am waiting to try Vegemite this weekend just in case I don't like it so I have time to make something else for breakfast. The other stuff is mostly chocolate and biscuits.

School has been stressful I don't get enough of a break between terms and it has been getting to me. Plus I am taking finance and I really don't like the class I am definitely not going to be able to the money side of business without help from others it is just not my thing.

And that is all for now.
Peace.

Sunday Selections part six

2011-02-19T19:03:00.005-06:00

This week in Sunday Selections (a meme brought to you by KIM) Some pictures of a Texas sunset and a dead tree.

Quick Update

2011-02-13T10:33:00.002-06:00

I am no longer moderating all comments. I have not had the troubles I had when I started to and will not as long as I keep getting relevant comments.

Peace

Sunday Selections Sunday Selections

2011-02-12T17:05:00.005-06:00

For this weeks selections I have chosen to show off my tattoos. I have three right now, want more but they are a very expensive hobby. So for now I have three. Anyways Sunday Selections is brought to you by Kim @ Frogpondsrock.

Most recent tat, and my favorite.

Second one I got, it has faded because I took Aidan one day to the park and didn;t realize how sunny it was and I sunburnt the tat so now it is not as dark.

The First tat I ever got.

This is the same tat as above but from a cooler angle.

Not Much Today

2011-02-11T18:25:00.002-06:00

I have had a very easy week. Have had the last three days off so that has been nice, but other than some easy days off I haven't done much. I am trying to go for a quality over quantity this year so there may be big gaps between post, or I may go Sunday Selection to Sunday Selection each week. Just giving a heads up to all you reading this.

Sunday Selections- Snow in Central Texas?

2011-02-05T16:41:00.006-06:00

So snow where I live is not very common. It has snowed in the past and as a child I did get a few snow days, though never in the same year (except for my freshman year of high school we got at least three and had to have a make up day at the end of the year)but still not an every day occurrence. Well yesterday(Friday) it snowed, and a lot, like a new record for the area but when I say a lot I mean like an inch. I know we can't handle snow and well most of my snow days were really ice days but hey I still had no school. SO that is why this weeks selections are snow pictures. Plus it was in the 70's on Monday so it really isn't fair that it got so cold so fast, because Tuesday it was in the 30's and it just kept getting colder. But I digress, Sunday Selections is a photo meme brought to us by KIM.

That was my car at 7am.

Oh and we still had snow this morning but because we have a really covered porch, it was below freezing last night, and had yet to melt. But it is gone now and we are back in the 50's/60's.

*All temps are in Fahrenheit, you know cause I grew up with that, so if you know Celsius sorry for no conversation but I think it would be like going from 21C to -1C over night.

From 70 to Snow in 4 days

2011-02-04T07:37:00.004-06:00

Texas is a crazy state. We were in the 70's on Monday and now we have snow, and snow that stuck.

We went from this

To this

Americans are Prudes

2011-02-01T22:59:00.002-06:00

Yes I said it. I believe I've said it before. And yes I believe it has to do with Puritans being some of the first to inhabit what would become the US. I mean hey when tracing back my family I can find relatives that came over on the Mayflower so heck my ancestors were Puritans. But really with all that is out there now Americans are still Prudes. I mean a show called Skins just starting airing on MTV and it is a remake of a British show and I watched something that showed a tweet about the show and this person is probably the biggest prude out there, they said sex, drug and what not with teens may be ok for the UK but not in the USA. This person obviously has no clue what goes on in highs schools in America. This show may be a remake of a British show but dang does it nail high school life. And no not every one has a high school experience like that shown on the show but really I saw/heard about more sex and drugs then I have seen so far on this show. I mean in you walk into most high schools and just listen to the students you will hear about a party you will hear about sex and drugs and heck walk into a bathroom and you may even smell the pot some kid was smoking before school. Don't get all freaked out about a show that is rated TVMA, I mean if you're an adult and don't want to watch it don't and if you're a parent and don't want your kid to watch it set the parent control or take the TV/computer out of your kids room. Because seriously I like Skins as it is the first show that actually shows how teens talk and what they talk about. So I am so sorry if most Americans are just a bunch of Fucking Prudes that need a reality check on what goes on in teenage life, heck and I grew up in a small city that requires a car to go anywhere and this stuff went on, well mostly in the school because you knew you could reach people. I may have never been in a bathroom when someone was having sex but I sure as hell heard about it. Teens will be Teens and this show is not going to give them any new ideas that stuff is already happening and has been for well pretty much as long as there has been school, my mom says this happened in her schools but hey she did grow up in the 70's but she also says it went sown when my grandparents and great grandparents went to school, so really Americans need to stop being stuck up prudes and either parent their children themselves or stop giving a crap if they don't have kids because I am seriously getting sick of people talking about how bad a influence Skins is.

Sunday Selecton time again

2011-01-29T21:25:00.008-06:00

Some more pics, most are from my trip to AZ in 08, and yes the reddish purple thing is my skin I went tubing but we forgot to bring sunscreen to reapply so I got the worst of worst sunburns on my arms and legs and feet. the others are from the University of Phoenix stadium and the stand out one are balloons from birthdays past that are now on my ceiling above my bed. Almost forgot this meme is brought to you by Kim.

Not Much

2011-01-28T23:01:00.001-06:00

I don't have much to say. I have an idea for a post but need to some research first and just haven't had the time lately. But any ways I will be posting it as soon as I can.

Sunday Selections on Saturday

2011-01-22T19:38:00.005-06:00

Ok so I did this last week too but did not explain why I posted it on Saturday. Well like I said last week it is a photo meme by Kim and well she live in Australia and it is already Sunday there and when I see the post if I am going to join I have to do it when I see it or I will forget. So anyways here are some pictures from ACL 2009.

Lots of Things

2011-01-22T00:23:00.004-06:00

I have so many ideas in my head right now for post so this is going to be a combo post because I don't feel like writing multiple and scheduling and all that fun stuff.

Firstly I am really into Michelle Branch right now. I listen to her way back when I was in like fifth and sixth grade but I have just recently started listening to her again. On that note Addiction part 6 will be about music, as I am always addicted to something music, this band or that band. So yeah been listening to Michelle Branch for the past few days, I think it is helping me with my writing not only for the blog but with the novel too.

A quick work update, B was sick this week so it was a really fun week(see the sarcasm leaking from that sentence). She just had a virus but had snot leaking out her nose nonstop and had the must horrid braking cough, I hope she doesn't get croup I think her parents would freak, but so far so good. Her eye are really puffy too, she looks like hell. She was really clingy the last few days which is not her. But she was a bit better today so hopefully she will be back to normal Monday.

So I watch Hulu and Netflix it is another addiction of mine. I want to know what draws me to show that have been canceled? I mean I like to watch them especially since I can just watch and don't have to wait a week or more for new episodes but sometime I hate how they end or I think they end to early. Like Firefly it only lasted one season, now it did get a movie and there are comic so it is not completely gone but still I wish it could have lasted longer. Then there is Lipstick Jungle, which I will be featuring in a addiction piece. It lasted two seasons but the way it ended I wanted more it was a great show. It had an ok final episode but because it was canceled it fell short. I wish networks would give shows more than a season or two to get viewers, heck I wish networks would advertise all shows better not just the ones they really really like, but all show. We aren't all stupid people who only like to watch 'reality' TV, I hate most 'reality' TV, I watch Real Housewives(only New York and Jersey) because it is hilarious and the Bethany Frankel show because I love her, and then 16 and pregnant and Teen Mom because well I don't know I guess that one is a guilty pleasure. But other then those and I won't watch it. I miss Better Off Ted it was hilarious but it was smart comedy so it got canned, though I do admit that I love Raising Hope but that show is just so outrageous that that is what makes it funny. I don't know I guess it a win lose when I get into canceled shows, I get to watch them non stop but then if I really like them I wish that there could be more.

I think that is all for now. Um I will be posting more this year, not a resolution or anything just want to write more and sometimes it is easier to write here then to work on my novels.

Peace.

Books

2011-01-20T08:03:00.003-06:00

I as a writer I love reading. And yes as I've said before writing came way before reading but hey I'm dyslexic so give me a break on that one, I mean would you enjoy reading if it was a hard thing, no you would not. Which is why it took me finding books I really really loved, loved not just liked, to really enjoy reading. That doesn't mean I never read till Twilight, it just means it was harder. And hey my favorite author is John Irving(side note he too is dyslexic)and I found him before Twilight I just only had so much time to read for pleasure in high school and most of that was still an assignment I just got to pick the books, but when I found Twilight there was maybe two weeks left of school my senior year so yeah I was not doing anything at school at all other then what I wanted to/ sitting bored when I had nothing to do, so I could read and read whatever the hell I wanted to. Now I do have to say I liked a lot of the books and plays that we had to read, but again like I said at that point reading still had not become a real big free time thing for me. So when I saw TV series based off of books I had not read I felt the need to read the books that these shows that I enjoyed were based off of.

First was Vampire Dairies, which I really enjoyed the show, it is definitely a show that is not meant for anyone much younger than 14, the themes are not meant for children and it has never had the problem as people can see that. There is blood and people killing other people be that vampires killing humans or humans killing vampire or vampires killing werewolves, there is a lot of killing. Then there is some sex, and this is mostly between the main character which are teens so people know it is not for younger viewer. So after seeing a good portion of the first season I picked up as many of the books that I could, which was all but the last one that the author was finishing/in final stages of publishing. And then I was disappointed. I don't know how this book series got turned into a show,don't get me wrong I love the show and I am glad that that did happen and by the changes the show made it was clear why. I like the show more than the books and that in my opinion is wrong. Adaptations of books into film or TV should not be as good as the book, they doesn't mean they are bad it just means the book is better. I do not feel that way with Vampire Dairies. I think it because it really hard to connect with Elana in the books and not in the show, and with her being the main character I feel you should be able to find some way to connect to her and it was really hard to do that in the book. Plus I know it is fiction and you can do what you want but I think the author took it too far and the show so far has not done that, the so is keeping it more real then the author did in the books. Which I also think fiction needs some connection to reality I mean I find the best fiction is that that you can read and feel like that could happen, I do not get that from Vampire Dairies the books. Plus I am having a hard time finishing the last book, And all that is sad.

Now the next was Pretty Little Liars, this is a complete guilty pleasure for me. I love the show and it took me longer to get the books. Now I only have the first two and have only read the first but I loved it. I would say the show did a good job of giving you the books in film form(I know it is a TV show but that sounded better). I would have to say I like the show and the books equally. They change some things in the show but it works and to be honest when making books into a TV show you have to change some things or else you audience would know what was going to happen every week and that is not a good thing for a TV shows as are trying to last a certain amount of seasons so they need to change things so people who read the books will watch and not be bored, as well as getting the people who have not read the books. So for this one it is a win, TV show and books are both a go, even if it is for a guilty pleasure. Oh and the book is worse when it comes to sex and cursing but the show is on ABC Family.

Then there is Twilight it is in movie form and while the movies aren't bad they are not the books and having read the books as many time as I have I know the things they messed up and some of those things really bug me. Plus there the whole thing with 12 year olds and younger wanting to read the book and see the movies and the media catching on to this and wanting to make the movies age appropriate which Breaking Dawn is no way no how a book a 12 year old should read, I don't even think my parents would let my brother read it right now, which he has no interest anyways but still. Why, well there is sex and yes it is done tastefully as the author Stephenie Myers is Mormon and that is how she wanted to write it but still sex, and the main character dies for a bit before she is turned, add in that that was during a very bloody childbirth and it should be seen why it is not a childrens book. I get it is in the YA section and I read books out of there frequently but I think most of those are still focused for teens the true YA age group because I have read books about suicide and death and murder and all sorts of crazy things that are not for the 12 and under age range. I don't know it just bugs me that people think Twilight was ever meant for a 12 year old when the author has said multiple times she wrote it for herself a 29 year old at the time. But that is life I guess.

It all makes me wonder how my book will be seen. It is about an 18 year old so it falls into YA on that aspect alone but there will be sex and there is curing that is mild now but will get worse and death there will be death, bloody violent death. Well I guess I have to finish it and just wait and see.

Peace.

Sunday Selections

2011-01-15T22:39:00.003-06:00

So this is a photo meme by Kim that I am going to try and be consistent with. Now some picture of my beautiful nephew.

Addictions part 5

2011-01-15T11:39:00.002-06:00

Okay this one is a guilty pleasure addiction. I am addicted to YA book, it all started in high school when I more fell into the YA category, but I still love them. Mostly the Twilight books. I can sit for four days straight and read all four. Which if you knew me that is a big thing. I am not a fast reader. My dyslexia makes reading hard. The Twilight books were what got me into reading, yes I did not like to read until thee end of my senior year in high school, and now I want to be a writer. No I been writing for fun since I was 10, started with poems and have since moved to prose. But now because of that I am addicted to reading YA novels. I have read most of the Vampire Dairies books but the sad thing about them is that the television show is better than the books. I know it should never be that way but the author made it hard to connect with the characters and the show made it so you could. Plus I have read some out there fantasy but in something like the Vampire Dairies where thing are taking place on earth in current time some of the things that happened in the books just seemed to far out there even for a fantasy book. I am going to read the Pretty Little Liars books next which should be interesting as am watching the show already.

I have a stack of books waiting to be read when I also want to write, there is not enough time to do everything. I think I will be taking books with me to read while B naps her oh so long lovely naps.

That's it for now, more addictions coming soon. This series has no end date in sight.

Peace.

Controversy

2011-01-10T10:31:00.004-06:00

Controversy is all around us, everyday we are faced with some sort of controversy. In the US the most recent has been over political retheric after the tragic shooting in Arizona, almost every article you can find about the tragedy has something to do with how the violent political retheric is affecting our country, which in my opinion it really is. I don't talk about politic much here because it is not part of my everyday life, I vote and do my research before doing so but to me that is a personal thing that I don't need to share with the world, however that being said a lot of political things have been popping up around me.

It all started when I read this post by the wonderful Veronica, and it doesn't matter how you feel about the situation there is a type of politics involved and that is business politic and that is what Veronica is against, at least that is how I read into it. And really that is what is going on, some girl, n=doesn't matter what her intention were, went up against some big company and that company with the help of the media is just shooting her down. Now I can't comment too much on this particular situation as I do not know all the details and could care less about the supposed "Sports Stars" as I do not live in Australia, but from what I have read, and yes I looked up articles about it, is that a 16 year old girl had sex with a grown man, said she got pregnant(which at this point no one but that girl herself knows the full truth as it was said she lost the baby) went to the AFL(Australian Football League)got no real help from them, and did the most stupid and probably rash decision of her short 17 years(she was 17 by the time I found this but was 16 when the sex accrued) by posting nude pictures of some of the football players that she had acquired in some fashion. Now to me both sides did wrong. The girl for posting the pics, the players for one having sex with a teenager(I don't care the age of consent laws you as a grown adult should know better than to have sex with a girl that is still in high school) and secondly for posing for the pics in the first place(as they were posed pictures) so really both sides to to deal with the consequences for their actions but from what I can tell from what I've read is that the punishment is being given out in a one-sided manner to the GIRL, a 17 year old girl, who's brain has not fully developed and does not all the time connect that when you do something something else will happen, look in up the brain does not fully develop until 25, and it seemed to me that the players were older than 25, but like I said I don't have all the facts and may have missed something. Because really it's not like she killed the guy or attacked him she may have violated him by posting the pics but really does something that happens probably everyday to non-famous people really require a girl to be broke for the majority of her like just because the guy had "fame", um no.

This parallels somethings happening in the US, sports wise. Two QB's, yes two, have had to deal with their own sexual scandals. The first got a four game suspension, that is four games no pay, for having had a third woman accuse him of rape, yes a very serious act, that in the end was not tolerated by the NFL. Why only a suspension, well he was never charges in any of the cases so really it was more of an ethical stand point from the NFL than anything else they were pretty much telling the guy watch yourself before you really are charge and out of a job. For me because all cases were dropped it seems that the women in the situation got in over their head and than the QB took it too far, again both parties at fault, but had these women felt strongly enough that they were really raped they would have continued with the charges and the likelihood that this guy would still be playing football today would be slim.

The second was not as bad as the other QB was accused of sending inappropriate voice-mails and texts, he was fined $50,000 because he admitted to the voice-mails, but the would not cooperate in the investigation, which to my knowledge never found pics.

The main difference in both cases was in the QB's cases the women were adult, officially over 18 adult is the US, now I'm not sure what is considered an adult in Australia but to me 16 is not it. Though I am fairly sure had any of the women involved with the QB's been under 18 these men would be in a whole lot more trouble and would not be playing football professionally again, but that is the US for you.

Which is something else I have notice from the situation in Australia, different countries act differently in similar situations. I believe this is because of how the US was founded. We were founded by Puritans who were prudes, sex was not talked about ever and there was rule on top of rule to prevent bad behavior. This cause the US to grow into a more prudish country. And yes sex is all over the media now but look t all the controversy that itself causes, just a few weeks ago some families for clean television or what not were complaining that Prime time TV, which was never intended to be viewed by young children( meaning under 6 to probably 13 years of age)is displaying teens(or actor who play teens) as sex figures and making it a laughing matter in some shows cases. One show they mentioned in doing so was the popular Fox show Glee, which I myself enjoy. But the thing with Glee is that it is a satire, which means that they are making fun of/showing high school life not in a realistic way, it is supposed to be over the top. Other shows are just written in that way and really at most high schools kids can walk into the bathroom or even just down the hall and see more sexual activity then what is seen in some of the shows. That being said the US still has a hush hush it's taboo to talk about sex mentality(MTV not included) which makes us, I think, react completely different when sex scandals, even with our Sports Stars come up.

*I know I should go and edit this, I just reread it and found a ton of typos but I really don't feel like doing that so if you have a question about something due to a typo let me know in a comment.*

ok ok

2011-01-07T00:06:00.002-06:00

So I gave you so many updates in December because I was tiring to reach a certain number of post and was successful, and it has been days now since I posted. I will not do what I did last year, I am trying to write more which includes the blog and the addiction series is not over part 5 will be here soon, so don't worry I will be posting more frequently this year.

Happy New Year

2011-01-01T11:07:00.001-06:00

Welcome 2011!

I did It

2010-12-31T22:27:00.002-06:00

I beat my post from last year with this one it's 63 to the 59 from last year. So yay!

And that is all, till midnight anyways.

Peace.

Addiction part 4

2010-12-31T15:58:00.003-06:00

The latest addiction is Rugrats, O watched it as a kid and now I can watch it on Netflix. It is a nice thing to watch when recovering from teeth removal, comforting and reminds me of childhood. Okay I know these are normally longer but my mouth still hurts so this is all for now.

Peace.

The teeth are out

2010-12-30T19:34:00.001-06:00

And my mouth fucking hurts. I hate that I can feel the pain, it sucks.

Continuation of addictions part 3

2010-12-29T23:37:00.001-06:00

So this is going to short and sweet. My family is now also addicted to Dead Like Me.

That is all.

Peace.

Also A Happy Birthday

2010-12-28T22:34:00.001-06:00

Also today is my dad's 50th Birthday, So a Happy Birthday to him, although he is not allowed to read the blog.

Peace

Addictions part 3

2010-12-28T21:54:00.009-06:00

So my next addiction has come and gone, well not really gone but anyway. It is a show called Dead Like Me. This show only lasted 2 seasons, 24 episodes and a movie. It is an awesome show with the word fuck said a lot and when I say a lot I mean more times then you can count per episode. I said it is gone because I have in the last few days watched all episodes and the movie. But it is still an addiction, and yes it is another one about death. As it is a show about Grim Reapers. I'm am sad it only lasted what it lasted but that is TV for you. I have other addictions ready to write about but I am sticking to one per post. So back to Dead Like Me. I fucking love it, it has made me want to say the word fuck a whole lot more. Which I cuss but not a lot since I work with a child but anyways it really has me wanting to use the word fuck more.

I do have to say I hate what they did with the movie, not the plot or anything that happened, but a casting choice. They changed one of the main characters and the persons the choice looked nothing like the original and that sucked balls. I mean I get that you can't always get that actor for something like that but okay so they had a new boss I betting because the original couldn't do the movie but they made a new character and I think that is what they should have done for the one that they kept the Character but changed the actor it pissed me the fuck off and I'm sure it did the same many other fans. The original had a way with the role she was the role and the impostor was fatter,uglier, and couldn't pull the character off it really sucked ass and was so fucking irritating. As you can see fuck is the word of the post but really I am just being true to the addiction, because seriously there was a line that went fuck you fuck fuck fucker fuck fuck fuck, and I'm not kidding Reapers cuss like no shit, watch one episode and you would see why fuck would want to become a more used word in your vocab.

This being said netflix is the best as it lets me watch this stuff and get my TV addictions.

So Dead Like Me a fucking awesome show that makes one want to use the word fuck a whole lot more then they currently do.

And that my friends is my addiction for the time being so until next time, Peace.

Stuff

2010-12-27T09:26:00.003-06:00

So part three really is coming, maybe later today.

In other things, I have until Jan 4 to get my school work for the week done, which is pretty cool. Oh and I only have to work two days this week, but that is because I am getting my wisdom teeth out on Thursday.

And really that is all for now.

Peace.

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T10:30:00.000-06:00

And Happy Holidays to those who don't celebrate Christmas.

Busy

2010-12-22T22:49:00.001-06:00

Had a very busy day and still didn't get all that I needed to get done done, with a long work day tomorrow it should be interesting.

oh and addictions part 3 will be coming soon.

Peace.

Things

2010-12-21T21:55:00.001-06:00

My dad is home has been since like 5.

B took a four and a half hour nap, which was awesome. And then her mom brought me dinner.

That's all for now.

Peace.

My Dad

2010-12-20T23:12:00.003-06:00

My dad went to the hospital today, he is fine and should stay that way but they made him stay overnight so they can run some test in the morning, though he did go at 1:30 this afternoon but hey that is a hospital for you, plus my mom thinks the fact that we have good insurance is part of why they are keeping him.

peace.

Yes!

2010-12-19T22:53:00.001-06:00

Was a close game but Pats won 31-27. Big sigh of relief there at the end but it is all good with a win.

Peace.

Football

2010-12-19T18:43:00.001-06:00

Pats v Packers tonight, hoping for another Pats win. Another post after the game with the final score is very likely if Pats win.

So GO Pats!

And that's all I have to say for now. Peace.

Had a good time

2010-12-18T23:40:00.001-06:00

Yes the party was fun and yes this post is short and is being made in the hopes of reaching my posting goal for the year.

That's it. Peace.

Party

2010-12-18T18:25:00.001-06:00

I had to work today, but B was great in a good mood all day, and despite the lack of a real nap it was a fun and not bad day.

Now I get to go to a party, which will be a lot of fun.

So Peace.

Random bits

2010-12-17T14:09:00.002-06:00

So we are getting a tree today. My little brother is insisting that it happen today so it is going to.

Hopefully we will make it to Home Depot to get wood to build a block so the spaz cat can't get under my bed anymore I am sick of having to move the bed or wait for her to come out.

I work tomorrow and then get to go to the Daycare's annual Christmas party should be a fun, long, but fun day.

I think I am going to work on Sleepless and the suicide book that is title less at the same time as last night I thought of a good first chapter and want to get working on it while still getting Sleepless finished.

B's mom loved what we made and now we get to make one for her grandma.

And I think that it for now, well it's all I can think of right now so, Peace.

Spaz Cat

2010-12-16T22:27:00.004-06:00

So I have a cat and she is the most spastic cat on earth. She goes out during the day and is in at night. She attacks my feet and many other body parts. She is fat as she not only eats the dry food I give here but also any and all small creature she can kill when outside. Add in a puppy that also lives in the house is my cat is one big ball of spaz, though she does have the puppy trained to her control, for the most part. Anyways Callie, her name though really her name is Callika but that is weird to say, is a spaztastic cat crazy spaztastic, but she is an awesome cat so I keep her.

Time goes on

2010-12-15T22:45:00.002-06:00

I realized today that Christmas is next week. Of course like every year my family still has no tree, the plan is to get is Friday, but we have been known to get it three days or so before Christmas, we are bad at getting trees.

Tomorrow I have to go into work early so I am going to take B to the center then we will go swimming at the Y and then we will go decorate things to give to here parents for Christmas/Hanukkah, and yes I know Hanukkah is over but we are decorating a picture frame that is half Christmas and half Hanukkah. B is in a mixed religion family and they still have the Hanukkah decorations up so yeah we are doing Hanukkah stuff to.

And now I have My thoughts have stopped so till later. Peace.

Addictions part deux

2010-12-15T00:00:00.000-06:00

So a musical addiction this time, and that would be Evanescence. I got hooked on them way back in middle school and had not listen to them in a while when travel they came up on my mp3 player and now it is all I want to listen to. It has broken my Paramore addiction, which I have had for a good two years now I sure a break is okay, plus I have a huge playlist in Zune that has both and many other random songs I like to listen to, but right now I am listening to the Evanescence playlist and probably will for a while.

It is dark music that I actually got into in a not so dark part of my life things where about to go dark but I didn't know that, maybe that is why I was drawn to it, as I was only two years away from high school which is what started some of the darkest years of my so far short life. Which that story is for another post as those sad days were not an addiction.

I think I have come back to them for the dark aspect. Although I don't want Sleepless to get too dark it has its dark aspects and well to help get me back into dark places dark music is a must. I listened to this when I read a book called Cut, it was about cutting, I think I listened to this whenever I'm reading a dark book. But anyways it will definitely be on the playlist when I write the Suicide book.

I just took a look around my room which hasn't changed much since high school and I can count the dark elements of my decorating. My room is weird I think it would be hard to tell what I was like just by looking at it, though then again I guess it could tell a whole lot about who I am/was like I said hasn't changed since high school.

Anyways yes I am addicted to dark music. I love it makes it easier to write sometime, though I haven't tried writing to it recently. Which I think is what I am going to go do.

Till later. Peace.

A title escapes me

2010-12-14T21:43:00.002-06:00

So first off I will be posting a lot in the next few weeks. I am trying to post at least as many post as last year and I need to post daily and possible twice daily to get that done, I slacked too much this year and now have to rush to catch up. Why? Because it would bug me if I dropped in posts from last year to this year when I gained in post from 08 to 09 so I feel I at least need to post the same from 09 to 10 if not more I will have to see if I can keep the focus and have enough good material which I think I will with x-mas my dad's b-day and my addition post.

In other news I have decided that after I finish Sleepless or maybe even while working on it I will be writing the Suicide book as it will be called until I come up with a actual title for me. The title of this post has nothing to do with the lack of title for this book, it just kinda happened.

Okay now to go write a post that will actually be published later, I know I never do that but the idea for addition part 2 just came to me and I have to write it now before I forget so be on the look out for it tomorrow.

Peace

I just remembered

2010-12-13T21:35:00.009-06:00

I just remembered that I said I would try to post more pics so here some are.

Happy Birthday

2010-12-12T16:48:00.001-06:00

Happy Birthday to my sis-in-law Liz.

Addictions part 1

2010-12-11T22:15:00.004-06:00

As I go through life I see something mostly on TV and then become addicted to it, this time it is the show Bones. I have watched Bones for a while now so it is really not a relatively new addiction but in the last few weeks I have watched/am watching every episode available on Netfilx. Before Bones it was Roswell, which sparked an idea for another novel, Bones did not do that as although I like murder mysteries I could not write something like that, although I have discovered that I write dark really well, maybe I'll write a novel on suicide, like a collection of different people committing suicide each chapter being the story of how that person got from living life to killing themselves, it would be really dark but not the first book about suicide as I read one about two years ago called Th3rteen R3ason Why, it was good, sad, but good. I say that because this post was about how good of a dark writer I am and the post it was on was a short prose of the experience of someone committing suicide. So writing multiple of those with more back story and detail could be an interesting thing for me. Maybe my addictions to a show about death and murder is bringing up the dark part of me, I know I am good at writing dark things so I know I should pursue that, but Sleepless is actually going well right now and of what I have written although I notice a dark undertone it is not a dark story everyone that has heard about it or read it has found it to be good and interesting. I love my dark writing but I also love my not so dark writing.

I do have to say that I think I am addicted to the dark writing more, because I am thinking of adding some darker elements into Sleepless, not for sure but seeing where the writing takes me.

On a different note I will be posting more pics of my nephew Zander asap and possibly tomorrow.

Oh this is also going to be a series of post about things I have become addicted to, weather they be books, TV shows, or other things.

Cuteness Update

2010-12-06T23:07:00.003-06:00

I was watching the beginning of the Pats Jets game at work waiting for B's parents which meant B was watching it with me. Well something good happened, just a good play no score or nothing and I shot my hands up and said yes very loudly and I look down and B has her hands up too it was so cute, no pic was taken but even if there was I wouldn't put it here since she is not my kid, but anyways it was the cutest thing I have seen her do in a while.

I don't normally do this kind of post.

2010-12-02T20:18:00.003-06:00

As the title says I don't normally do posts like the one I am now writing(I post after I draft, thus part of the reason for the last post) so why am I now, I don't really know I just felt like, what is this post that I would not normally do, well you're going to just have to keep reading to find out but it won't be too much longer before I get to the point.

Okay so my point, right you want that now. Well let me start with giving a little background on why I don't normally do this type of post, well I don't like confrontation so I try to not rock the boat. I have my views and will express them with my family but I don't even share all my views with them and being my family they can at times gleam what I feel and or how I feel about something, well I am going to share some of my views here today and not everyone my understand or agree with them, that being said remember my last post no ugliness or rude/hurtful comments, state your opinion and be kind to all any ugly or rude comment will not be posted.

So I read today an article on yahoo about ads for atheists and christens, talking about this and that and hoe there is an atheist ad campaign that happens to be running during Christmas. Well I am neither and atheist or a christen, I really don't know what I am. My parents think and say I am having a loss of faith and are sure that I will find my path, I think if I am going to be anything at this time I'll will be a Wicca, but that is for later. As with all articles on yahoo people can comment and there were some fairly ugly comments towards the atheists.

So my views, I think if there is a god he wouldn't care what the people and things he created thought and believed if he or she or some sexless all powerful being exists he she it will love everything it created. It won't send those who don't follow some book written by man and not him her it. He she it won't care if you believe in he she it or not he she it will love you all the same. No matter your beliefs not matter what you do because he she it made you or made it possible for you to be made and made it possible for you think and and breath and move and feel and be who you are and believe what you want, if the is a heaven there is no hell because no being that created a world would send those who he she it made to a place that is full of fire or lack of hope or there is fear or there is hurt, if there is a hell then we are all on it now and if we can make it through then we get the easy afterlife of heaven, we are not judged at death that makes not sense to be judged at death, we all live a life of ups and downs we all live in our own person hells at one point or another so why on earth in hell whatever ever saying you prefer would something someone that allowed to be created send of to a worse place than we are already in, that is just wrong and no loving higher being would do that, no truely loving being could do that.

I don't believe in organized religion, Wicca is the least organized religion that I can see good points in but I still wouldn't join anything, all they do is shove falsehoods down your throat and scare and guilt people in to doing what they think is right they don't talk to god if they do then they are crazy or have some mental disease and need help, either way if anyone say they talk to god they need help. I do get that some people well a lot of people need structure and people telling them what is right and wrong and that it is how a lot of people find tier ethic and morals but all organized religions are technically cults it's just the 'mainstream' ones are culturally and socially accepted but it still doesn't change the fact that they a cults as the definition of the word cult is "a particular system of religious worship, esp. with reference to its rites and ceremonies." this came from dictionary.com. I think if there is a god that life is not a test per say but a way of seeing how its creations is changing and evolving and when our life comes to an end the all power being if it exists will take us to in the infinite space of the universe. As an intellectual being myself I can't truly say what is or is not out there as I do not have all the facts, but I can express my views and say what I think and believe. I don't do these kinds of post because I don't like confrontation but the comments in that article bugged me and I know I didn't link it well I'm thinking I should so here it is.

And that is all for today mostly because I am losing my train of thought.

A small rant

2010-11-27T13:52:00.003-06:00

I moderate my comment, I didn't but then I starting getting a ton of spam comments and decided it was just easier to see the spam first before it was posted on the blog, this means I see all comments before they are posted to my blog, also meaning I get to chose what it posted. To be honest I will post most comments, I am open to discussion even if the person is disagreeing with something I have said. Now I have never and have not had a what kind of comments will be tolerated post or page because until recently I had very little on readership and honestly still believe I do and I get very few comments so when I get and email telling me there is a comment on here I get very excited. With that being said if a rude, even in the tiniest of ways, comment pops up chances are I'm not going to allow it to be posted, this manly being I don't want that on my blog, negativity is not wanted or welcome here, you can disagree and have your own opinion just don't be ugly or rude it is not necessary.

Why am I just doing this now well on a recent post I was talking about a comment from a post I had done over a year ago, I enjoyed the comment and it reminded of how good of a dark writer I am, it translated to my novel as I am stuck on developing Leo and Emma's relationship and I'm weird and HAVE TO write from beginning to end. Someone happened to make a comment about my grammar, walking away form it for a bit I know it was more of an observation than meaning to be rude but was just written with a kind of rudeness to it, though being typed it is hard to tell the commenters true intent, anyways I did not post it, finding it slightly rude. For one the post had nothing to do with my grammar and I would also like comments to have some sort of relevance the the post. Secondly I am dyslexic, grammar and editing are not my strong point, in 6th grade I had 4th grade level editing skills I was two years behind then I doubt I ever fully grasped the concepts of editing. That being said I know my grammar sucks, I don't need to be told that, plus the comment said something about getting an editor for my novel, which I kind of have already done as my mom has edited the two complete chapters and I will have her do the same with the rest of the book. I don't edit my post unless I read through and see a major error that makes understanding the point of that post hard otherwise I figure people can figure out what I mean with the few typos or grammar mistakes. I do get someone to edit my novel and other more artistic writings, this blog to me is more of a public journal I don't edit private journal entries and I will only edit blog post if it is glaringly obvious that something needs to be fixed to get my point across, otherwise not going to fix the little mistakes. That being said though if as a reader you see a huge mistake feel free to point it out to me so I can fix it because I am only human and I don't reread all my post all the time so please feel free to tell me if you find something confusing or a little hard to understand so that I can go back and fix it.

And that is all the rant I got in me today.

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T11:16:00.001-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving! Having a good time with my family though dad and little brother are still in Texas, missing them. My nephew is getting bigger everyday.

Remembering

2010-11-14T04:01:00.003-06:00

I just got an email because I got a comment on a post I wrote over a year ago. It was written when I was in that deep dark place of not knowing where the hell my ex was and I forgot how good of a dark writer I am. I had to go back and read the piece because from the comment I could not remember what the post was and from reading man I gotta say I really like my dark depressing suicide writing. That and my other really dark pieces seem to be some of my best work, now my novel has me stuck, it does have a dark element to it but I am also trying to add a romance to it and that is giving me some trouble. I think it is because although I was happy with my last relationship it ended very badly and well looking back it wasn't much of a healthy relationship anyways so in the big picture I don't really know how a good relationship should form and how it should work without copying from others and I don't want that it is sad to say that I am inexperienced when it comes to relationships and I admit it is at my own hand but still it is hard for me to write what I don't know. I can write dark and depressing because that is what i have been living for the past few years, but a happy romance it just not working but it is not something I want to cut out. Which is why I am stuck with the novel, because I have to write start to finish and I am at the point where the relationship needs to build and get going I am at odds of what to have happen. I might try adding a darker spin on the romance but I'm not sure that that is what I want.

See I am in a better place then when I stopped writing my last try at a book based on a short story I had written but stopped that one because I took a wrong turn in the plot and had to set it aside to get the fantasy sci-fic out which is why I chose to write 'Sleepless: the story of the 24'. And being stuck on that one is leaving me in a weird place. I want to write and I want to work on Sleepless but I'm not sure how do move forward. I don't want to abandon another novel(not that I really did with the first it is just on hold) and I'm not going to. But I'm really stuck. Maybe I should write some dark prose and see if I can either but them in the novel or have it help me find the romance I need, because really even if I turn the love between Leo and Emma it to something dark it is still a romance and still adds to the story and it may just make it that much better of a novel. Then I will try to do a more normal romance with my first on which deserves to have happy/light/romantic/out of this world romance, Emma has to save the world from her evil father, while Izzy(Isabel) has a completely normal life in a small town nothing strange and weird happening there(plus it takes place way before the sleepless so even if it was the same world Izzy's world is years in the past). But anyways that book will come later and right now I am stuck trying to get Sleepless right. Well writing does take time.

Zander

2010-11-11T21:52:00.006-06:00

My beautiful Nephew.

The Happy Family

Lonely

2010-11-10T16:27:00.003-06:00

So just for warn everyone this may get a bit dark. I been thinking a lot and I think I can finally write them down.

I've been alone for a while now. My ex and I broke up over a year ago and I cut him out of my life this past September. And that was a good thing it really was. It had to be done or I would still be in and out of this big dark cycle that had been controlling me for the past year. Did you know that even through we were done over a year ago I never really started dating again, looking back I know that is because I hoped we would get back together even though I knew that it would never happen I hoped, which I think is why pretty much as soon as I knew that he had moved back to Austin I cut him out, it took all of a few half asses conversation for me to just say fuck it this is going nowhere and never will I don't want to even talk to you anymore. And you know what I haven't not a word to him since I sent that email back in September(refer to second link I don't feel like linking that post again). And I do feel good about that. I really do.

However it doesn't keep me from thinking about him, wishing could have happened differently. I know it doesn't matter and I can't change anything but still. We had sex back in May before I knew he was moving back probably before he knew he was moving back and well even with having been on the pill for a year and a half I still freaked about the possibility of being pregnant, I know next to impossible, but still I think part of me wanted to be so that he would most likely be in my life forever, having come to my senses I know that would have been a horrible mistake. (Though side note, my BC is awesome after being on it for seven month(a new one the old made me really bitchy) it has taken away that evil monthly visitor, well at least for this past month, and no I have had no sex since May, my BC is just awesome.) Anyways back to the real post. Knowing that would have been the worst mistake of my life I am glad it didn't happen.

And really you what led to this post, well that would be my obsession with Hulu, which to be honest is mostly used to catch up on shows that I miss because I don't get home from work till 8pm but still it's an obsession on my days off. Anyways I was watching the Desperate Housewives that I missed and it showed and ad for a show that had been canceled but that they had all the episodes to watch, so after I finished with Desperate Housewives I went to watch it, the show was Lipstick Jungle and you know it's good, I have now watched all 20 episodes and was happy with it kinda wish I had been watching when it was on TV, though it would have most likely still been canceled, anyways it's about three high powered women living in New York, they also happen to be best friends, and from watching it I realized my friends still suck, which I really only have one friend from high school that I still talk to and I was so out of it the one year I did spend at UT that I never made any friends, it all my fault but still never really made any friends. So really I have no friends. My friend from high school is an over achiever that has like no time to do stuff and I work so much and have school stuff to get done that I am no better than her at trying to find time to hang, plus it's not like I can make new friends through school it's all on the computer and my classmates generally don't even live in the same state. I need to get out more and just don't.

I guess I feel broken most of the time. I don't want to go out by myself but then don't have anyone to go out with. I have mostly only talked to family and my employer for the last year, and I know it's sad but hey that's my life right now.

I did find my ex on the net but I don't think I want to do that again, at least not right now, and I know that having a guy in my life doesn't fix everything but it is something I want. My brother wants me to meet someone when I go visit him over Thanksgiving, I really hope things go good, but I'm not holding my breath, I don't feel like suffocating, which is not me saying I don't think things will go well just that he told my mother not me and well we don't talk very much but if it was really something you would think the would tell me directly and not through my mother, but hey I could be over thinking this I do tend to over think things. I don't I guess I'll just have to wait and see, a little over a week and counting and I'll know. But hey if it doesn't go well or is not the set up I'm thinking it is I will come home and put myself out there again, I really will start dating again.

Ok I think that is it for the darkness.

Sorry no baby pics yet they have not been posted on fb and that is the only way I can get them at least until I go there.

Alexander Vincent

2010-11-06T13:41:00.004-05:00

My nephew has been born. Today at 1:34pm EST. He is 6lbs 4ozs and 19in long. Pic to come when I can steal them off facebook hopefully later today but most likely sometime this weekend.

Happy Halloween

2010-10-31T11:22:00.002-05:00

Well it is Halloween and all that really needs to be said is HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Sharing the love part 2 #1

2010-10-24T20:50:00.002-05:00

A blog that I have found that I enjoy is Day2Day Madness. I haven't been reading very long but from what I've read I do know that I want to read more. So that being said I am looking forward to reading more and hope others enjoy it as well.

Sharing the love part 1

2010-10-24T00:01:00.004-05:00

Veronica is starting a share the love thing where she once a month will show some love to a blog she likes to read that her reader may not know about I am going to attempt to participate in this but first a blog exploring I must go as I if not all the blogs I read through her, so tomorrow or in the next few days I will try to post part two of this which will really be the sharing or the love part of.

No good title came to me

2010-10-01T23:38:00.003-05:00

So a couple days ago I had an idea for a post and now it's gone. Not even sure on what topic this post was going to be on, I should get a notebook or something to write things like that down, you know like when I am writing my novel and stop mid sentence that what I got right now half a sentence and I'm not quite sure where I was going when I started writing it. Oh well it will all work out int the end.

Work has been going so good. B is advancing everyday. She has some many words yet still not enough as she has started hitting when she is mad, and not just with me her parents have noticed the hitting as well, and we are working on that starting with time out because we are not going to put up with this hitting thing. Also she screams and tells me no when I go to change her cloths or give her her bath it is making things a little difficult but I think it is because she wants her privacy but is just not to that point of she can do it herself yet.

I am going to be in aunt in a little over a month and I can't wait. I was writing the weeks/days down to keep track of my hours and I only have five weeks until I will be in Dover to see the little guy. Plus my brother told my mom that he and his wife had someone they wanted me to meet so it should be an interesting trip.

ANd that is it for now.

It's Done

2010-09-21T23:11:00.002-05:00

I got sick of being ignored or whatever by him so I sent him an email today saying some of the things that I wanted to say and asking some of the questions I had wanted to ask saying I would cut him out if he was a jerk again because I cared about him and in the past year he has made it really to do that and I needed answers and he said he didn't have any so I've cut him out this should be the last post about him ever and I wish I could have had an easier time moving on last year when this all started but life is life and you can't change it, you may notice I don't even want to type his name anymore. He lied many time and he's become a jerk and I don't need that, so he's out. I deleted him from my phone email and im and I may even go delete the post about him after this has been up for a bit but not sure as he still was a part of my life at one point and I can't change that. I sad but glad it's over I can really move on now knowing that I hopefully won't ever have to hear from him or see him again.

Why is this happening

2010-09-16T21:46:00.002-05:00

Why is life going this way?
Why was he all I could think about for the last few weeks?
Why is he back?
Why is all this happening?
Over a year has past
It's been over a year
He's been in and out of my life
In and out
In and out
I don't know how much more of this I can take
But life goes on and I have to deal with this
I have to deal with all of it
I have to deal with it all
I have to keep going and I have to talk
To him
To people
To myself
I have to talk about it.

I can't even believe it

2010-09-13T18:23:00.003-05:00

So I got a text at work today from someone I use to work I guess you would still call us friends just with my hours and school I have no time to do anything other than school work and family time/ time to relax and try to write. Anyways back to the text she was asking for Jon's number I was confused and asked why she said she thought he was texting her and it was him before I could give her his number he had confirmed to her that he was him(that sounded really confusing but it is how it happened) anyways I was then confused to why he was texting her and not me and then she sent me a text from him about an email I had sent back in May the last time he was in town and he took it the wrong way plus he had tried to send me emails but I haven't gotten them. Well I said she could give him my number, he claimed he had lost it, and he texted me saying Jessie, my friend, said he needed to call me but he wasn't in a place where he could and I was ok with that since I was at work, anyways turns out he is moving back to Austin, that's right I said moving back to Austin. I'm shocked, surprised, and have a ton of other emotions running through my head and that still can't explain all that I'm going through with that little news. I hoping to be able to talk to him more and see what this really means but still I can't believe it and don't exactly know how to deal with it.

Twitter

2010-08-31T08:45:00.002-05:00

I finally got a twitter last night. I was resistant to get one as only using 140 characters is a challenge I don't update my facebook status very much either for that reason although you can say more in the facebook status this but still. But I finally broke down and registered last night and you know I'm still not sure why, It might be more so that I can follow people then actually tweet myself although I will try to get a tweet out there every now and then. I'm not sure if I will use it all that much as although I have been using computers practically my whole life I have never spent a ton of time sitting there on a computer and my phone sucks and there is no way it could last if I tried to tweet from it for any amount of time. Oh well I we will just see how it goes.

Happy Belated Anniversary

2010-08-29T10:39:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was my parents 28th wedding anniversary. They didn't do much to celebrate as my mom left with her sister very early this morning to got to MA and pack up her sisters house. She will be back on Saturday and I'm sure they wouldn't have done anything anyways they are not that kind of couple, they love each other and let each other know it but don't need to go out or anything to show that they do. so yeah that would be it for now.

Best Day Ever!

2010-08-16T23:02:00.002-05:00

So just had to say B took a four and an half hour nap today and when she woke up her day was already home, I liked that part of my day. Though one thing that was not cool was that their microwave died while I was heating her lunch so that sucked, other then that awesome day.

I've been very busy

2010-08-14T14:59:00.002-05:00

So I have had a really busy month. My brother and sister-in-law came to visit so we could give them a baby shower I am pretty sure I have said on here that my sis-in-law is expecting but if not I have now, it's a boy Alexander Vincent, of course will have pics when he is born in November. SO while they were here I was not at my computer and that was two weeks ago now, we went to Sea World, and then had the Shower the Sunday they were here it was fun but after there was some drama. See they had already been told they might not get to come because Liz, my sis-in-law, had been to the doctor the Monday before they were suppose to leave for spotting and abdominal pain, they ran test and since they had not heard anything when they were about to board the plane they came. She was fine and everything here, had a little trouble with her getting overheated and have low sugar at Sea World but nothing to bad, until Sunday after the shower when she fainted outside our house. We took her to the hospital and they said she was dehydrated they gave her fluids and said she was fine to head to Arkansas which was the next leg of their vacation and family visiting. Well her mom who had come for the shower was worried so she delayed leaving Austin a bit by stopping and eating before they left, this was Sunday night or technically very early Monday morning and I got a call from my brother asking how to get back to the hospital at 2:30am, handed him over to my mom and went to bed as I had to work the next day. She ended up having some bacterial infection, she was given a prescription and told to wait till the next day on continuing to Arkansas, they waited until that night and left, and didn't have any real problem other then it took six hours to get to Dallas instead of three which meant it took more then nine hours to get to Little Rock. She is okay now and in Arkansas but it was a very stressful crazy weekend.

I have also been working a lot and having much school work to do but I am on the last week of term and then I have a week off so that will be nice. and i think that is all I have for today will try to post more often.

Just so you know

2010-07-22T14:17:00.002-05:00

I guest posted on Sleepless Nights you can find it here.