Unsure of Things

So I finish school in about 6 weeks which is great. I started this blog back in my first year at university and now four years later I am almost done. I am so glad to be this close to finished and I am really looking forward to having more free time. The problem is that as I get closer I will have more time to write and heck maybe more to write about on here but once I'm done my title kind of goes with it. Now I know it is just a title and hey I will be back in college again in a few years when I go back for my Masters but that will be a while. SO for now I am unsure if I will continue the blog under current name, rename, or just close down and maybe start a new blog with a title that will last longer. Like I said I am unsure, I'll figure it out but untill I do post will continue to be few and far between.

Update and some thoughts

So it has been a while since I did a decent post. Halloween was uneventful a normal day at work and then a quite night in, my family got back late from bringing my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew to Arkansas. We went back there the following weekend for my nephew's first birthday. It was a good time and it was fun to see how happy he was with the cake, thought he is allergic it would seem to the food coloring. I do have picture but they are still on my camera haven't had a chance to get them onto a computer yet. Some things went down that weren't so great but they are still up in the air so I can't really talk about them yet. My sister-in-law is pregnant again it's a girl Mackenzi Renee. She is due in March on my little brother due date actually, though Wesley got evicted (mom was educed so she did not give birth in the car on the way to the hospital, older brother born in about an hour fifteen minutes of active labor I was forty five minutes they were scared it would reduce again an it did mom had only about thirty minutes of active labor with the little brother). Though since Zander was born via c-section Kenzi(or Zi(pronounced z)) has to as well as it has not been enough time for my sis in law to try naturally. But we are all excited if not a little shocked, Kenzi and Zander will only be 16 months apart.

My grandfather who has been in bad health recently is doing worse we don't know how much longer he has but it is probably not very long. I don't know how I feel about this as I have never had a good relationship with him. He tried to beat me when I was only five because I tried to kick my seven year old cousin who was living with us at the time out of the house my grandparents were visiting and were in their RV out in the yard which is where my cousin went, I had to barricade a door until my parents got home and yelled at my grandfather because in their mind it did not matter what I did they would not beat me or let him beat me. I have no other strong memories of him and from what I have been told of my mother's childhood she(well not so much she, she was practically invisible to her parents no matter what she did) and her sibling were beaten regularly in today's society they would have been removed from their home. So it hard to feel sad for a man that was so terrible add to that that he was an alcoholic, a functioning one but still and knowing that part of that fueled my mother's(well when she did get them) , aunts, and uncle's( two aunts one uncle that died before I was born but that is a story for a different post) beating makes it harder. I know my grandmother will be sad an my mom and that makes it hard but I don't know how I will truly feel and that is hard.

There is something I want to write about but can't yet as it has not been dealt with yet I will be dealing with it soon and then probably feel compelled to write about it.

My computer is still dead and while I've gotten my novel back it is hard to write when I know I have to save it in multiple places. I really need a new computer but there is just so much other stuff going on right now that it hard to think about shelling out the money needed to get a decent laptop that will last a good few years, well hopefully more than a few years.

Well that is it fir now I guess hopefully I will be writing more on here at least.

A little Lost

So it has been over a month since my last post. Since my computer died I have not been able to work on my novel, while we have a server and most of my book is on it it is mussing some of the latest things I had written before my computer died. So until I can get an external hard drive and get my computer to people who work with computers I am left with no way to work on my novel which has left me not in a writing on the blog mode. I had a great time traveling, got to see family that I hadn't seen for a while plus I got to see my nephew again but it was too short as I was only there for the weekend. So I am hoping to be able to get my computers contents soon which means I hopefully will be writing here more





Zander at 6 months and my Mom

Travel

I will be going to Massachusetts at the beginning of July. My family has things to do and well I didn't want to spend that weekend with the small remainder of relatives that would be in town still, plus my mother is making my brother drive up so I will get to see my nephew again. The only problem is that it has pretty much killed my finances for the month so that kinda sucks. But whatever I get to see family.

Also I have mentioned it before but my computer died and I and bouncing from the other computers left in the house to try to stay online and connected, which is why I have not been posting Sunday Selections lately as I do not have my pictures.

Addictions part 7

Yes I went back through to find out what number I was on.

Anyways my new addiction has to do with what unblocked my writers block. It is the music to Spring Awakening. And I know what you are all thinking I have no speakers on my computer that is true I have a CD of the music and listen to it in my car and to make that CD I had to file share with my mom's laptop and will steal hers to listen to the music when I can. However because I have no speakers it has stalled my writing as I don't generally write with other people around so I don't have access to music when I write and I really need it to write. But I have some money in savings and I think my school payment for this set of terms is fairly low and my parents are going to chip in as a Christmas/Birthday present, no I did not get a Christmas present yet and yes my Birthday is in a month from today. So I should hopefully have a new laptop in the next month or so and will be able to get back to writing and all that fun stuff.

So yes all I really listen to right now is the Spring Awakening music and it is wonderful. Now since I wrote all about Spring Awakening in my Writer's block unblocked post I am going to be done for now so...

Peace.

SO

That series I want to do well it is going to have to wait. It would seem that my computer is slowly dieing. I do not have a bad driver or anything like that the motherboard is just slowing giving out or something like that, I have speakers intermittently and recently not at all no matter how many times I restart or shut down my computer. So until I get a new computer there will be no series that requires a mic and speakers.

Writer's Block Unblocked.

So I have had very bad writer's block for a while now, and I mean like a good year a while now. It has affected/not really affected my blog as things would happen and the addictions post and what not would help me to keep writing on here but other than that I have not been able to work on either of my novels. Sleepless was beginning to bug me, I really wanted to be writing it but I was stuck and very much so stuck. And Confessions was becoming the same way actually I'm still not sure when I am going to pick that one back up to finish it, it is a sad and depressing subject matter and well although I am unblocked on Sleepless I am not sure where I want to go with Confessions right now.

Anyways I am very much so picking back up with Sleepless. I have to go back and tweak some things as I have slightly changed the subplot that is Emma and Leo's relationship but I am much happier with where this will take them in the long run so I don't mind having to go back and change a few small details that I have already wrote.

What broke my writer's block the musical Spring Awakening. It was on Broadway in 2007 and went until 2009 I think and I never got to see it then but I was watching YouTube last weekend and came across some clips and was able to find the whole play with the original cast and really all I can say is wow, it was amazing and has unlocked my head and allowed me to write again. So I am thankful.

It is a very controversial play and was banned in the US until the 1960's it was written in 1890 and is a German play that was adapted into a musical in 2001 I think but it took it until 2007 for it to make it to Broadway and I really wish I could have seen it live. It is something every teen should see in my opinion. I know controversial and teen what a thing to promote but hey if the teens don't then their parents should especially those parents ashamed or too scared to talk to their teens about sex because it is a very good story of what can happen when you keep your children in the dark about that subject. It is not a happy play but hey it is a good play.

So that is it for know my writer's block is gone thanks to Spring Awakening I am off to work on Sleepless now.

Quick Update

I am no longer moderating all comments. I have not had the troubles I had when I started to and will not as long as I keep getting relevant comments.

Peace

Not Much Today

I have had a very easy week. Have had the last three days off so that has been nice, but other than some easy days off I haven't done much. I am trying to go for a quality over quantity this year so there may be big gaps between post, or I may go Sunday Selection to Sunday Selection each week. Just giving a heads up to all you reading this.

Not Much

I don't have much to say. I have an idea for a post but need to some research first and just haven't had the time lately. But any ways I will be posting it as soon as I can.

Lots of Things

I have so many ideas in my head right now for post so this is going to be a combo post because I don't feel like writing multiple and scheduling and all that fun stuff.

Firstly I am really into Michelle Branch right now. I listen to her way back when I was in like fifth and sixth grade but I have just recently started listening to her again. On that note Addiction part 6 will be about music, as I am always addicted to something music, this band or that band. So yeah been listening to Michelle Branch for the past few days, I think it is helping me with my writing not only for the blog but with the novel too.

A quick work update, B was sick this week so it was a really fun week(see the sarcasm leaking from that sentence). She just had a virus but had snot leaking out her nose nonstop and had the must horrid braking cough, I hope she doesn't get croup I think her parents would freak, but so far so good. Her eye are really puffy too, she looks like hell. She was really clingy the last few days which is not her. But she was a bit better today so hopefully she will be back to normal Monday.

So I watch Hulu and Netflix it is another addiction of mine. I want to know what draws me to show that have been canceled? I mean I like to watch them especially since I can just watch and don't have to wait a week or more for new episodes but sometime I hate how they end or I think they end to early. Like Firefly it only lasted one season, now it did get a movie and there are comic so it is not completely gone but still I wish it could have lasted longer. Then there is Lipstick Jungle, which I will be featuring in a addiction piece. It lasted two seasons but the way it ended I wanted more it was a great show. It had an ok final episode but because it was canceled it fell short. I wish networks would give shows more than a season or two to get viewers, heck I wish networks would advertise all shows better not just the ones they really really like, but all show. We aren't all stupid people who only like to watch 'reality' TV, I hate most 'reality' TV, I watch Real Housewives(only New York and Jersey) because it is hilarious and the Bethany Frankel show because I love her, and then 16 and pregnant and Teen Mom because well I don't know I guess that one is a guilty pleasure. But other then those and I won't watch it. I miss Better Off Ted it was hilarious but it was smart comedy so it got canned, though I do admit that I love Raising Hope but that show is just so outrageous that that is what makes it funny. I don't know I guess it a win lose when I get into canceled shows, I get to watch them non stop but then if I really like them I wish that there could be more.

I think that is all for now. Um I will be posting more this year, not a resolution or anything just want to write more and sometimes it is easier to write here then to work on my novels.

Peace.

ok ok

So I gave you so many updates in December because I was tiring to reach a certain number of post and was successful, and it has been days now since I posted. I will not do what I did last year, I am trying to write more which includes the blog and the addiction series is not over part 5 will be here soon, so don't worry I will be posting more frequently this year.

I did It

I beat my post from last year with this one it's 63 to the 59 from last year. So yay!

And that is all, till midnight anyways.

Peace.

Also A Happy Birthday

Also today is my dad's 50th Birthday, So a Happy Birthday to him, although he is not allowed to read the blog.

Peace

Stuff

So part three really is coming, maybe later today.

In other things, I have until Jan 4 to get my school work for the week done, which is pretty cool. Oh and I only have to work two days this week, but that is because I am getting my wisdom teeth out on Thursday.

And really that is all for now.

Peace.

Busy

Had a very busy day and still didn't get all that I needed to get done done, with a long work day tomorrow it should be interesting.

oh and addictions part 3 will be coming soon.

Peace.

Had a good time

Yes the party was fun and yes this post is short and is being made in the hopes of reaching my posting goal for the year.

That's it. Peace.

A title escapes me

So first off I will be posting a lot in the next few weeks. I am trying to post at least as many post as last year and I need to post daily and possible twice daily to get that done, I slacked too much this year and now have to rush to catch up. Why? Because it would bug me if I dropped in posts from last year to this year when I gained in post from 08 to 09 so I feel I at least need to post the same from 09 to 10 if not more I will have to see if I can keep the focus and have enough good material which I think I will with x-mas my dad's b-day and my addition post.

In other news I have decided that after I finish Sleepless or maybe even while working on it I will be writing the Suicide book as it will be called until I come up with a actual title for me. The title of this post has nothing to do with the lack of title for this book, it just kinda happened.

Okay now to go write a post that will actually be published later, I know I never do that but the idea for addition part 2 just came to me and I have to write it now before I forget so be on the look out for it tomorrow.

Peace

A small rant

I moderate my comment, I didn't but then I starting getting a ton of spam comments and decided it was just easier to see the spam first before it was posted on the blog, this means I see all comments before they are posted to my blog, also meaning I get to chose what it posted. To be honest I will post most comments, I am open to discussion even if the person is disagreeing with something I have said. Now I have never and have not had a what kind of comments will be tolerated post or page because until recently I had very little on readership and honestly still believe I do and I get very few comments so when I get and email telling me there is a comment on here I get very excited. With that being said if a rude, even in the tiniest of ways, comment pops up chances are I'm not going to allow it to be posted, this manly being I don't want that on my blog, negativity is not wanted or welcome here, you can disagree and have your own opinion just don't be ugly or rude it is not necessary.

Why am I just doing this now well on a recent post I was talking about a comment from a post I had done over a year ago, I enjoyed the comment and it reminded of how good of a dark writer I am, it translated to my novel as I am stuck on developing Leo and Emma's relationship and I'm weird and HAVE TO write from beginning to end. Someone happened to make a comment about my grammar, walking away form it for a bit I know it was more of an observation than meaning to be rude but was just written with a kind of rudeness to it, though being typed it is hard to tell the commenters true intent, anyways I did not post it, finding it slightly rude. For one the post had nothing to do with my grammar and I would also like comments to have some sort of relevance the the post. Secondly I am dyslexic, grammar and editing are not my strong point, in 6th grade I had 4th grade level editing skills I was two years behind then I doubt I ever fully grasped the concepts of editing. That being said I know my grammar sucks, I don't need to be told that, plus the comment said something about getting an editor for my novel, which I kind of have already done as my mom has edited the two complete chapters and I will have her do the same with the rest of the book. I don't edit my post unless I read through and see a major error that makes understanding the point of that post hard otherwise I figure people can figure out what I mean with the few typos or grammar mistakes. I do get someone to edit my novel and other more artistic writings, this blog to me is more of a public journal I don't edit private journal entries and I will only edit blog post if it is glaringly obvious that something needs to be fixed to get my point across, otherwise not going to fix the little mistakes. That being said though if as a reader you see a huge mistake feel free to point it out to me so I can fix it because I am only human and I don't reread all my post all the time so please feel free to tell me if you find something confusing or a little hard to understand so that I can go back and fix it.

And that is all the rant I got in me today.

Just so you know

I guest posted on Sleepless Nights you can find it here.