Happy Birthday B!

B is 3 today and she is sick, she has mono of all things. Her mom was surprised and slightly confused on how her 3 year old got mono. Her doctor says she could have gotten it from preschool if a kid in her class has older siblings or from just about anywhere so we have no clue where she got it and we are all watching ourselves for symptoms. SO yeah B is 3 but we have to watch for signs of mono in her adult caretakers. Ah whhat a wonderful brithday.

And the writing picks up

SO I wrote a huge part of my novel yesterday and I wish I could be writing more constanly but you know I still have to work, though my hours got cut because they put B in preschool so they need me less but I will have to make up so of those hours at my parents daycare until I have my business up and bringing in money but with any luck that will only take a few months. Anyways lots of novel writing will be happening as even with having two jobs I should have way more free time to get schoolwork and work work done so that I can write.

Oh and I have plane tickets so I will offically be going to reason rally and I am so excited.

Random Stuff and other ramblings

B's birthday was yesterday I was with her all day she was good and had a really nice birthday. Her party was last Saturday it was fun but I hardly knew anyone so that made it a little weird. We are working on potty training and it is not going so hot. It makes me sad since I am the one dealing with the messes but hey that is what it is.

I really am going to blog more I have a series in mind where I sing songs I like and explain why and all that I think I have mentioned this before it is taking me a while because my computer keeps saying I have no speakers, I have a laptop so this is really weird and if it doesn't stop/if my dad can't fix it I will have to take it somewhere to get it looked at.

Mt rents are in Arkansas right now and my mom brother and I are going next week which will mean new and updated picture of the beautiful baby Zander. I have more recent ones now but they are on my phone and I have to find the right cord in order to get them onto the computer.

Lots of Things

I have so many ideas in my head right now for post so this is going to be a combo post because I don't feel like writing multiple and scheduling and all that fun stuff.

Firstly I am really into Michelle Branch right now. I listen to her way back when I was in like fifth and sixth grade but I have just recently started listening to her again. On that note Addiction part 6 will be about music, as I am always addicted to something music, this band or that band. So yeah been listening to Michelle Branch for the past few days, I think it is helping me with my writing not only for the blog but with the novel too.

A quick work update, B was sick this week so it was a really fun week(see the sarcasm leaking from that sentence). She just had a virus but had snot leaking out her nose nonstop and had the must horrid braking cough, I hope she doesn't get croup I think her parents would freak, but so far so good. Her eye are really puffy too, she looks like hell. She was really clingy the last few days which is not her. But she was a bit better today so hopefully she will be back to normal Monday.

So I watch Hulu and Netflix it is another addiction of mine. I want to know what draws me to show that have been canceled? I mean I like to watch them especially since I can just watch and don't have to wait a week or more for new episodes but sometime I hate how they end or I think they end to early. Like Firefly it only lasted one season, now it did get a movie and there are comic so it is not completely gone but still I wish it could have lasted longer. Then there is Lipstick Jungle, which I will be featuring in a addiction piece. It lasted two seasons but the way it ended I wanted more it was a great show. It had an ok final episode but because it was canceled it fell short. I wish networks would give shows more than a season or two to get viewers, heck I wish networks would advertise all shows better not just the ones they really really like, but all show. We aren't all stupid people who only like to watch 'reality' TV, I hate most 'reality' TV, I watch Real Housewives(only New York and Jersey) because it is hilarious and the Bethany Frankel show because I love her, and then 16 and pregnant and Teen Mom because well I don't know I guess that one is a guilty pleasure. But other then those and I won't watch it. I miss Better Off Ted it was hilarious but it was smart comedy so it got canned, though I do admit that I love Raising Hope but that show is just so outrageous that that is what makes it funny. I don't know I guess it a win lose when I get into canceled shows, I get to watch them non stop but then if I really like them I wish that there could be more.

I think that is all for now. Um I will be posting more this year, not a resolution or anything just want to write more and sometimes it is easier to write here then to work on my novels.

Peace.

Addictions part 5

Okay this one is a guilty pleasure addiction. I am addicted to YA book, it all started in high school when I more fell into the YA category, but I still love them. Mostly the Twilight books. I can sit for four days straight and read all four. Which if you knew me that is a big thing. I am not a fast reader. My dyslexia makes reading hard. The Twilight books were what got me into reading, yes I did not like to read until thee end of my senior year in high school, and now I want to be a writer. No I been writing for fun since I was 10, started with poems and have since moved to prose. But now because of that I am addicted to reading YA novels. I have read most of the Vampire Dairies books but the sad thing about them is that the television show is better than the books. I know it should never be that way but the author made it hard to connect with the characters and the show made it so you could. Plus I have read some out there fantasy but in something like the Vampire Dairies where thing are taking place on earth in current time some of the things that happened in the books just seemed to far out there even for a fantasy book. I am going to read the Pretty Little Liars books next which should be interesting as am watching the show already.

I have a stack of books waiting to be read when I also want to write, there is not enough time to do everything. I think I will be taking books with me to read while B naps her oh so long lovely naps.

That's it for now, more addictions coming soon. This series has no end date in sight.

Peace.

Stuff

So part three really is coming, maybe later today.

In other things, I have until Jan 4 to get my school work for the week done, which is pretty cool. Oh and I only have to work two days this week, but that is because I am getting my wisdom teeth out on Thursday.

And really that is all for now.

Peace.

Busy

Had a very busy day and still didn't get all that I needed to get done done, with a long work day tomorrow it should be interesting.

oh and addictions part 3 will be coming soon.

Peace.

Things

My dad is home has been since like 5.

B took a four and a half hour nap, which was awesome. And then her mom brought me dinner.

That's all for now.

Peace.

Party

I had to work today, but B was great in a good mood all day, and despite the lack of a real nap it was a fun and not bad day.

Now I get to go to a party, which will be a lot of fun.

So Peace.

Random bits

So we are getting a tree today. My little brother is insisting that it happen today so it is going to.

Hopefully we will make it to Home Depot to get wood to build a block so the spaz cat can't get under my bed anymore I am sick of having to move the bed or wait for her to come out.

I work tomorrow and then get to go to the Daycare's annual Christmas party should be a fun, long, but fun day.

I think I am going to work on Sleepless and the suicide book that is title less at the same time as last night I thought of a good first chapter and want to get working on it while still getting Sleepless finished.

B's mom loved what we made and now we get to make one for her grandma.

And I think that it for now, well it's all I can think of right now so, Peace.

Time goes on

I realized today that Christmas is next week. Of course like every year my family still has no tree, the plan is to get is Friday, but we have been known to get it three days or so before Christmas, we are bad at getting trees.

Tomorrow I have to go into work early so I am going to take B to the center then we will go swimming at the Y and then we will go decorate things to give to here parents for Christmas/Hanukkah, and yes I know Hanukkah is over but we are decorating a picture frame that is half Christmas and half Hanukkah. B is in a mixed religion family and they still have the Hanukkah decorations up so yeah we are doing Hanukkah stuff to.

And now I have My thoughts have stopped so till later. Peace.

Cuteness Update

I was watching the beginning of the Pats Jets game at work waiting for B's parents which meant B was watching it with me. Well something good happened, just a good play no score or nothing and I shot my hands up and said yes very loudly and I look down and B has her hands up too it was so cute, no pic was taken but even if there was I wouldn't put it here since she is not my kid, but anyways it was the cutest thing I have seen her do in a while.

Lonely

So just for warn everyone this may get a bit dark. I been thinking a lot and I think I can finally write them down.

I've been alone for a while now. My ex and I broke up over a year ago and I cut him out of my life this past September. And that was a good thing it really was. It had to be done or I would still be in and out of this big dark cycle that had been controlling me for the past year. Did you know that even through we were done over a year ago I never really started dating again, looking back I know that is because I hoped we would get back together even though I knew that it would never happen I hoped, which I think is why pretty much as soon as I knew that he had moved back to Austin I cut him out, it took all of a few half asses conversation for me to just say fuck it this is going nowhere and never will I don't want to even talk to you anymore. And you know what I haven't not a word to him since I sent that email back in September(refer to second link I don't feel like linking that post again). And I do feel good about that. I really do.

However it doesn't keep me from thinking about him, wishing could have happened differently. I know it doesn't matter and I can't change anything but still. We had sex back in May before I knew he was moving back probably before he knew he was moving back and well even with having been on the pill for a year and a half I still freaked about the possibility of being pregnant, I know next to impossible, but still I think part of me wanted to be so that he would most likely be in my life forever, having come to my senses I know that would have been a horrible mistake. (Though side note, my BC is awesome after being on it for seven month(a new one the old made me really bitchy) it has taken away that evil monthly visitor, well at least for this past month, and no I have had no sex since May, my BC is just awesome.) Anyways back to the real post. Knowing that would have been the worst mistake of my life I am glad it didn't happen.

And really you what led to this post, well that would be my obsession with Hulu, which to be honest is mostly used to catch up on shows that I miss because I don't get home from work till 8pm but still it's an obsession on my days off. Anyways I was watching the Desperate Housewives that I missed and it showed and ad for a show that had been canceled but that they had all the episodes to watch, so after I finished with Desperate Housewives I went to watch it, the show was Lipstick Jungle and you know it's good, I have now watched all 20 episodes and was happy with it kinda wish I had been watching when it was on TV, though it would have most likely still been canceled, anyways it's about three high powered women living in New York, they also happen to be best friends, and from watching it I realized my friends still suck, which I really only have one friend from high school that I still talk to and I was so out of it the one year I did spend at UT that I never made any friends, it all my fault but still never really made any friends. So really I have no friends. My friend from high school is an over achiever that has like no time to do stuff and I work so much and have school stuff to get done that I am no better than her at trying to find time to hang, plus it's not like I can make new friends through school it's all on the computer and my classmates generally don't even live in the same state. I need to get out more and just don't.

I guess I feel broken most of the time. I don't want to go out by myself but then don't have anyone to go out with. I have mostly only talked to family and my employer for the last year, and I know it's sad but hey that's my life right now.

I did find my ex on the net but I don't think I want to do that again, at least not right now, and I know that having a guy in my life doesn't fix everything but it is something I want. My brother wants me to meet someone when I go visit him over Thanksgiving, I really hope things go good, but I'm not holding my breath, I don't feel like suffocating, which is not me saying I don't think things will go well just that he told my mother not me and well we don't talk very much but if it was really something you would think the would tell me directly and not through my mother, but hey I could be over thinking this I do tend to over think things. I don't I guess I'll just have to wait and see, a little over a week and counting and I'll know. But hey if it doesn't go well or is not the set up I'm thinking it is I will come home and put myself out there again, I really will start dating again.

Ok I think that is it for the darkness.

Sorry no baby pics yet they have not been posted on fb and that is the only way I can get them at least until I go there.

No good title came to me

So a couple days ago I had an idea for a post and now it's gone. Not even sure on what topic this post was going to be on, I should get a notebook or something to write things like that down, you know like when I am writing my novel and stop mid sentence that what I got right now half a sentence and I'm not quite sure where I was going when I started writing it. Oh well it will all work out int the end.

Work has been going so good. B is advancing everyday. She has some many words yet still not enough as she has started hitting when she is mad, and not just with me her parents have noticed the hitting as well, and we are working on that starting with time out because we are not going to put up with this hitting thing. Also she screams and tells me no when I go to change her cloths or give her her bath it is making things a little difficult but I think it is because she wants her privacy but is just not to that point of she can do it herself yet.

I am going to be in aunt in a little over a month and I can't wait. I was writing the weeks/days down to keep track of my hours and I only have five weeks until I will be in Dover to see the little guy. Plus my brother told my mom that he and his wife had someone they wanted me to meet so it should be an interesting trip.

ANd that is it for now.

Best Day Ever!

So just had to say B took a four and an half hour nap today and when she woke up her day was already home, I liked that part of my day. Though one thing that was not cool was that their microwave died while I was heating her lunch so that sucked, other then that awesome day.

I've been very busy

So I have had a really busy month. My brother and sister-in-law came to visit so we could give them a baby shower I am pretty sure I have said on here that my sis-in-law is expecting but if not I have now, it's a boy Alexander Vincent, of course will have pics when he is born in November. SO while they were here I was not at my computer and that was two weeks ago now, we went to Sea World, and then had the Shower the Sunday they were here it was fun but after there was some drama. See they had already been told they might not get to come because Liz, my sis-in-law, had been to the doctor the Monday before they were suppose to leave for spotting and abdominal pain, they ran test and since they had not heard anything when they were about to board the plane they came. She was fine and everything here, had a little trouble with her getting overheated and have low sugar at Sea World but nothing to bad, until Sunday after the shower when she fainted outside our house. We took her to the hospital and they said she was dehydrated they gave her fluids and said she was fine to head to Arkansas which was the next leg of their vacation and family visiting. Well her mom who had come for the shower was worried so she delayed leaving Austin a bit by stopping and eating before they left, this was Sunday night or technically very early Monday morning and I got a call from my brother asking how to get back to the hospital at 2:30am, handed him over to my mom and went to bed as I had to work the next day. She ended up having some bacterial infection, she was given a prescription and told to wait till the next day on continuing to Arkansas, they waited until that night and left, and didn't have any real problem other then it took six hours to get to Dallas instead of three which meant it took more then nine hours to get to Little Rock. She is okay now and in Arkansas but it was a very stressful crazy weekend.

I have also been working a lot and having much school work to do but I am on the last week of term and then I have a week off so that will be nice. and i think that is all I have for today will try to post more often.

Work

So I have been at my job for three weeks now and I have to say that I love it. She takes a two and a half to three hour nap a day, and she is really good the rest of the day. She loves to go outside and she likes to color. She also loves reading. Since she is only 15 months and I have only known her for three weeks there is still a lot for me to learn. But just had to say I love my new job.

So

I have a job now as a nanny to the cutest girl ever, well in my opinion. She is 14 months old and very sweet her name is Braelyn. I have only been with her for one day but it went really well, so much that I can teach her and help her do. And that would be all for today.

i started again

That's right tonight I started working on my novel again. I made myself sit down and start writing. Fight the writers block with writing. I am very proud of myself right now. I had not touch my novel since sometime last year and it feels good to be writing it again. And I know people probably think I 'm crazy for this but I have to write in order which is what has partly taken me so long to get back to it. I don't know why but I just have to go in order. So that is the good news for tonight.

Oh and I have a job interview on my birthday for a job at a photography studio, I am very excited and hope I get it, I would love to work on my photography skills and get paid to do it.

I need...

I need a job. Twice now I had been lead to think that I had a job and twice now things have fallen through. My last day at my current job is next week and I really need something else lined up. I am pissed. The first was a summer babysitting job with a family my family kinda knew and the only thing I can think of why I didn't get that job was because the other candidate was older. The other was with a nanny agency and they said they did not interview you unless you were qualified so when I got the interview and the person was talking about just having to do this and that I believed I had the job, well today i got an email that said my references were not up to standards, which I'm pretty sure that is because I have only ever babysat for the families and never actually been a nanny for, but still the agency should have checked the references before the interview because in the interview they said all they had to do was this and then I would go to an orientation and could start taking jobs, so I am pretty pissed off right now about that. I have worked in childcare for going on eight years and just because I was 12 when I start shouldn't stop me from getting jobs. I'm sick of working for other people and I am working on not having to but it will take some time before that can happen, at least six months and I have bills to pay still, a car payment, school, credit cards; my parents can not take that on, I can barely afford it on what I get paid now. I have never had this much trouble finding a job before and it's pissing me off.