Random Things

I am offically finished with school it feels so good to be. I have more free time and have been using it to do a slight edit on my novel before continueing on. and that is really all at the moment.

And the writing picks up

SO I wrote a huge part of my novel yesterday and I wish I could be writing more constanly but you know I still have to work, though my hours got cut because they put B in preschool so they need me less but I will have to make up so of those hours at my parents daycare until I have my business up and bringing in money but with any luck that will only take a few months. Anyways lots of novel writing will be happening as even with having two jobs I should have way more free time to get schoolwork and work work done so that I can write.

Oh and I have plane tickets so I will offically be going to reason rally and I am so excited.

Update and some thoughts

So it has been a while since I did a decent post. Halloween was uneventful a normal day at work and then a quite night in, my family got back late from bringing my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew to Arkansas. We went back there the following weekend for my nephew's first birthday. It was a good time and it was fun to see how happy he was with the cake, thought he is allergic it would seem to the food coloring. I do have picture but they are still on my camera haven't had a chance to get them onto a computer yet. Some things went down that weren't so great but they are still up in the air so I can't really talk about them yet. My sister-in-law is pregnant again it's a girl Mackenzi Renee. She is due in March on my little brother due date actually, though Wesley got evicted (mom was educed so she did not give birth in the car on the way to the hospital, older brother born in about an hour fifteen minutes of active labor I was forty five minutes they were scared it would reduce again an it did mom had only about thirty minutes of active labor with the little brother). Though since Zander was born via c-section Kenzi(or Zi(pronounced z)) has to as well as it has not been enough time for my sis in law to try naturally. But we are all excited if not a little shocked, Kenzi and Zander will only be 16 months apart.

My grandfather who has been in bad health recently is doing worse we don't know how much longer he has but it is probably not very long. I don't know how I feel about this as I have never had a good relationship with him. He tried to beat me when I was only five because I tried to kick my seven year old cousin who was living with us at the time out of the house my grandparents were visiting and were in their RV out in the yard which is where my cousin went, I had to barricade a door until my parents got home and yelled at my grandfather because in their mind it did not matter what I did they would not beat me or let him beat me. I have no other strong memories of him and from what I have been told of my mother's childhood she(well not so much she, she was practically invisible to her parents no matter what she did) and her sibling were beaten regularly in today's society they would have been removed from their home. So it hard to feel sad for a man that was so terrible add to that that he was an alcoholic, a functioning one but still and knowing that part of that fueled my mother's(well when she did get them) , aunts, and uncle's( two aunts one uncle that died before I was born but that is a story for a different post) beating makes it harder. I know my grandmother will be sad an my mom and that makes it hard but I don't know how I will truly feel and that is hard.

There is something I want to write about but can't yet as it has not been dealt with yet I will be dealing with it soon and then probably feel compelled to write about it.

My computer is still dead and while I've gotten my novel back it is hard to write when I know I have to save it in multiple places. I really need a new computer but there is just so much other stuff going on right now that it hard to think about shelling out the money needed to get a decent laptop that will last a good few years, well hopefully more than a few years.

Well that is it fir now I guess hopefully I will be writing more on here at least.

A little Lost

So it has been over a month since my last post. Since my computer died I have not been able to work on my novel, while we have a server and most of my book is on it it is mussing some of the latest things I had written before my computer died. So until I can get an external hard drive and get my computer to people who work with computers I am left with no way to work on my novel which has left me not in a writing on the blog mode. I had a great time traveling, got to see family that I hadn't seen for a while plus I got to see my nephew again but it was too short as I was only there for the weekend. So I am hoping to be able to get my computers contents soon which means I hopefully will be writing here more





Zander at 6 months and my Mom

Posting some of my old writing

So this is a piece I wrote in high school. I goes with a piece I wrote years ago on here, though it came first and I would have posted it then but could find it. Anyways it is a sad piece as it was written when I was in a fairly dark place though as I've said before I am also just good at writing dark as I been perfectly happy while writing dark before, not the case for these two pieces but yeah. Anyways you can find the second piece here. This is just a warning that it is not the happiest thing to read as the piece is tittled Suicide. But anyways here it is hope it gives you the chills.


I walked; just kept walking. Only I could hear the music, the world around me was oblivious to what was happening. Everything I saw was a sign and I knew what I had to do. The music got louder and I began to run. I ran through the streets filled with the ignorant people, filled with the smell of rotting skin; I could taste the vile fragrance in the air. I felt the moisture in the sky and knew it would be raining soon. It went straight to pouring and I stopped my run and returned to a walk. I knew it would be over soon.

I was there, I could see it in the distance; the tall sturdy shape I began to climb. Up I went past the windows and doors, the music still growing louder and still only I hearing it. I past the stars and the moon and the people around me still did not see what was happening. I reached the top, I shout “Stupid people” no one can hear me. I was above the moon and the stars; I was above all of them, above all the pain.

I jumped back into reality. The people below were all looking up and the music was gone. I could feel, smell, and taste the rain as it poured down. I was on the roof of a tall building and did not know how I got there. All the people were staring at me; “stop” I shouted and someone shouted something back, they could hear me not too. I couldn’t take reality; I closed my eyes.

When I opened my eyes reality was gone and the people again paid no attention to me as the music returned louder than before. The rain felt so cold on my skin and as the music got louder I looked up to the universe and wished something would come take me.

Reality again, people below now shouting “Don’t Jump! Stay where you are someone is coming to talk to you.” I don’t want this reality, the music is gone and people can see and hear me. I close my eyes and fell the tears mix with the rain.

The music is back and the people disappear. I begin to dance, the rain is still pouring and I am standing on grass now, it is wet and slippery. I start to spin round and round returning to childish games singing, “Ring around the rosy, Pocket full of poises, Ashes ashes we all fall down!”

And now I am falling, reality and fantasy mix. I hear someone yell “NO!” but only see the moon and the stars; there is music and a rainbow of colors swirling around me, but I hear people gasp and shout “no.” Then reality takes over completely and all I hear is a thump as my body hits the pavement and my soul floats above it.

The music is back and there is color everywhere. No more reality only fantasy. I see a light and follow it to a field where it always rains, where I can always hear the music, where I can always spin, and where I will never fall.

Writer's Block Unblocked.

So I have had very bad writer's block for a while now, and I mean like a good year a while now. It has affected/not really affected my blog as things would happen and the addictions post and what not would help me to keep writing on here but other than that I have not been able to work on either of my novels. Sleepless was beginning to bug me, I really wanted to be writing it but I was stuck and very much so stuck. And Confessions was becoming the same way actually I'm still not sure when I am going to pick that one back up to finish it, it is a sad and depressing subject matter and well although I am unblocked on Sleepless I am not sure where I want to go with Confessions right now.

Anyways I am very much so picking back up with Sleepless. I have to go back and tweak some things as I have slightly changed the subplot that is Emma and Leo's relationship but I am much happier with where this will take them in the long run so I don't mind having to go back and change a few small details that I have already wrote.

What broke my writer's block the musical Spring Awakening. It was on Broadway in 2007 and went until 2009 I think and I never got to see it then but I was watching YouTube last weekend and came across some clips and was able to find the whole play with the original cast and really all I can say is wow, it was amazing and has unlocked my head and allowed me to write again. So I am thankful.

It is a very controversial play and was banned in the US until the 1960's it was written in 1890 and is a German play that was adapted into a musical in 2001 I think but it took it until 2007 for it to make it to Broadway and I really wish I could have seen it live. It is something every teen should see in my opinion. I know controversial and teen what a thing to promote but hey if the teens don't then their parents should especially those parents ashamed or too scared to talk to their teens about sex because it is a very good story of what can happen when you keep your children in the dark about that subject. It is not a happy play but hey it is a good play.

So that is it for know my writer's block is gone thanks to Spring Awakening I am off to work on Sleepless now.

Lots of Things

I have so many ideas in my head right now for post so this is going to be a combo post because I don't feel like writing multiple and scheduling and all that fun stuff.

Firstly I am really into Michelle Branch right now. I listen to her way back when I was in like fifth and sixth grade but I have just recently started listening to her again. On that note Addiction part 6 will be about music, as I am always addicted to something music, this band or that band. So yeah been listening to Michelle Branch for the past few days, I think it is helping me with my writing not only for the blog but with the novel too.

A quick work update, B was sick this week so it was a really fun week(see the sarcasm leaking from that sentence). She just had a virus but had snot leaking out her nose nonstop and had the must horrid braking cough, I hope she doesn't get croup I think her parents would freak, but so far so good. Her eye are really puffy too, she looks like hell. She was really clingy the last few days which is not her. But she was a bit better today so hopefully she will be back to normal Monday.

So I watch Hulu and Netflix it is another addiction of mine. I want to know what draws me to show that have been canceled? I mean I like to watch them especially since I can just watch and don't have to wait a week or more for new episodes but sometime I hate how they end or I think they end to early. Like Firefly it only lasted one season, now it did get a movie and there are comic so it is not completely gone but still I wish it could have lasted longer. Then there is Lipstick Jungle, which I will be featuring in a addiction piece. It lasted two seasons but the way it ended I wanted more it was a great show. It had an ok final episode but because it was canceled it fell short. I wish networks would give shows more than a season or two to get viewers, heck I wish networks would advertise all shows better not just the ones they really really like, but all show. We aren't all stupid people who only like to watch 'reality' TV, I hate most 'reality' TV, I watch Real Housewives(only New York and Jersey) because it is hilarious and the Bethany Frankel show because I love her, and then 16 and pregnant and Teen Mom because well I don't know I guess that one is a guilty pleasure. But other then those and I won't watch it. I miss Better Off Ted it was hilarious but it was smart comedy so it got canned, though I do admit that I love Raising Hope but that show is just so outrageous that that is what makes it funny. I don't know I guess it a win lose when I get into canceled shows, I get to watch them non stop but then if I really like them I wish that there could be more.

I think that is all for now. Um I will be posting more this year, not a resolution or anything just want to write more and sometimes it is easier to write here then to work on my novels.

Peace.

Books

I as a writer I love reading. And yes as I've said before writing came way before reading but hey I'm dyslexic so give me a break on that one, I mean would you enjoy reading if it was a hard thing, no you would not. Which is why it took me finding books I really really loved, loved not just liked, to really enjoy reading. That doesn't mean I never read till Twilight, it just means it was harder. And hey my favorite author is John Irving(side note he too is dyslexic)and I found him before Twilight I just only had so much time to read for pleasure in high school and most of that was still an assignment I just got to pick the books, but when I found Twilight there was maybe two weeks left of school my senior year so yeah I was not doing anything at school at all other then what I wanted to/ sitting bored when I had nothing to do, so I could read and read whatever the hell I wanted to. Now I do have to say I liked a lot of the books and plays that we had to read, but again like I said at that point reading still had not become a real big free time thing for me. So when I saw TV series based off of books I had not read I felt the need to read the books that these shows that I enjoyed were based off of.

First was Vampire Dairies, which I really enjoyed the show, it is definitely a show that is not meant for anyone much younger than 14, the themes are not meant for children and it has never had the problem as people can see that. There is blood and people killing other people be that vampires killing humans or humans killing vampire or vampires killing werewolves, there is a lot of killing. Then there is some sex, and this is mostly between the main character which are teens so people know it is not for younger viewer. So after seeing a good portion of the first season I picked up as many of the books that I could, which was all but the last one that the author was finishing/in final stages of publishing. And then I was disappointed. I don't know how this book series got turned into a show,don't get me wrong I love the show and I am glad that that did happen and by the changes the show made it was clear why. I like the show more than the books and that in my opinion is wrong. Adaptations of books into film or TV should not be as good as the book, they doesn't mean they are bad it just means the book is better. I do not feel that way with Vampire Dairies. I think it because it really hard to connect with Elana in the books and not in the show, and with her being the main character I feel you should be able to find some way to connect to her and it was really hard to do that in the book. Plus I know it is fiction and you can do what you want but I think the author took it too far and the show so far has not done that, the so is keeping it more real then the author did in the books. Which I also think fiction needs some connection to reality I mean I find the best fiction is that that you can read and feel like that could happen, I do not get that from Vampire Dairies the books. Plus I am having a hard time finishing the last book, And all that is sad.

Now the next was Pretty Little Liars, this is a complete guilty pleasure for me. I love the show and it took me longer to get the books. Now I only have the first two and have only read the first but I loved it. I would say the show did a good job of giving you the books in film form(I know it is a TV show but that sounded better). I would have to say I like the show and the books equally. They change some things in the show but it works and to be honest when making books into a TV show you have to change some things or else you audience would know what was going to happen every week and that is not a good thing for a TV shows as are trying to last a certain amount of seasons so they need to change things so people who read the books will watch and not be bored, as well as getting the people who have not read the books. So for this one it is a win, TV show and books are both a go, even if it is for a guilty pleasure. Oh and the book is worse when it comes to sex and cursing but the show is on ABC Family.

Then there is Twilight it is in movie form and while the movies aren't bad they are not the books and having read the books as many time as I have I know the things they messed up and some of those things really bug me. Plus there the whole thing with 12 year olds and younger wanting to read the book and see the movies and the media catching on to this and wanting to make the movies age appropriate which Breaking Dawn is no way no how a book a 12 year old should read, I don't even think my parents would let my brother read it right now, which he has no interest anyways but still. Why, well there is sex and yes it is done tastefully as the author Stephenie Myers is Mormon and that is how she wanted to write it but still sex, and the main character dies for a bit before she is turned, add in that that was during a very bloody childbirth and it should be seen why it is not a childrens book. I get it is in the YA section and I read books out of there frequently but I think most of those are still focused for teens the true YA age group because I have read books about suicide and death and murder and all sorts of crazy things that are not for the 12 and under age range. I don't know it just bugs me that people think Twilight was ever meant for a 12 year old when the author has said multiple times she wrote it for herself a 29 year old at the time. But that is life I guess.

It all makes me wonder how my book will be seen. It is about an 18 year old so it falls into YA on that aspect alone but there will be sex and there is curing that is mild now but will get worse and death there will be death, bloody violent death. Well I guess I have to finish it and just wait and see.

Peace.

Addictions part 5

Okay this one is a guilty pleasure addiction. I am addicted to YA book, it all started in high school when I more fell into the YA category, but I still love them. Mostly the Twilight books. I can sit for four days straight and read all four. Which if you knew me that is a big thing. I am not a fast reader. My dyslexia makes reading hard. The Twilight books were what got me into reading, yes I did not like to read until thee end of my senior year in high school, and now I want to be a writer. No I been writing for fun since I was 10, started with poems and have since moved to prose. But now because of that I am addicted to reading YA novels. I have read most of the Vampire Dairies books but the sad thing about them is that the television show is better than the books. I know it should never be that way but the author made it hard to connect with the characters and the show made it so you could. Plus I have read some out there fantasy but in something like the Vampire Dairies where thing are taking place on earth in current time some of the things that happened in the books just seemed to far out there even for a fantasy book. I am going to read the Pretty Little Liars books next which should be interesting as am watching the show already.

I have a stack of books waiting to be read when I also want to write, there is not enough time to do everything. I think I will be taking books with me to read while B naps her oh so long lovely naps.

That's it for now, more addictions coming soon. This series has no end date in sight.

Peace.

ok ok

So I gave you so many updates in December because I was tiring to reach a certain number of post and was successful, and it has been days now since I posted. I will not do what I did last year, I am trying to write more which includes the blog and the addiction series is not over part 5 will be here soon, so don't worry I will be posting more frequently this year.

Random bits

So we are getting a tree today. My little brother is insisting that it happen today so it is going to.

Hopefully we will make it to Home Depot to get wood to build a block so the spaz cat can't get under my bed anymore I am sick of having to move the bed or wait for her to come out.

I work tomorrow and then get to go to the Daycare's annual Christmas party should be a fun, long, but fun day.

I think I am going to work on Sleepless and the suicide book that is title less at the same time as last night I thought of a good first chapter and want to get working on it while still getting Sleepless finished.

B's mom loved what we made and now we get to make one for her grandma.

And I think that it for now, well it's all I can think of right now so, Peace.

Addictions part deux

So a musical addiction this time, and that would be Evanescence. I got hooked on them way back in middle school and had not listen to them in a while when travel they came up on my mp3 player and now it is all I want to listen to. It has broken my Paramore addiction, which I have had for a good two years now I sure a break is okay, plus I have a huge playlist in Zune that has both and many other random songs I like to listen to, but right now I am listening to the Evanescence playlist and probably will for a while.

It is dark music that I actually got into in a not so dark part of my life things where about to go dark but I didn't know that, maybe that is why I was drawn to it, as I was only two years away from high school which is what started some of the darkest years of my so far short life. Which that story is for another post as those sad days were not an addiction.

I think I have come back to them for the dark aspect. Although I don't want Sleepless to get too dark it has its dark aspects and well to help get me back into dark places dark music is a must. I listened to this when I read a book called Cut, it was about cutting, I think I listened to this whenever I'm reading a dark book. But anyways it will definitely be on the playlist when I write the Suicide book.

I just took a look around my room which hasn't changed much since high school and I can count the dark elements of my decorating. My room is weird I think it would be hard to tell what I was like just by looking at it, though then again I guess it could tell a whole lot about who I am/was like I said hasn't changed since high school.

Anyways yes I am addicted to dark music. I love it makes it easier to write sometime, though I haven't tried writing to it recently. Which I think is what I am going to go do.

Till later. Peace.

Addictions part 1

As I go through life I see something mostly on TV and then become addicted to it, this time it is the show Bones. I have watched Bones for a while now so it is really not a relatively new addiction but in the last few weeks I have watched/am watching every episode available on Netfilx. Before Bones it was Roswell, which sparked an idea for another novel, Bones did not do that as although I like murder mysteries I could not write something like that, although I have discovered that I write dark really well, maybe I'll write a novel on suicide, like a collection of different people committing suicide each chapter being the story of how that person got from living life to killing themselves, it would be really dark but not the first book about suicide as I read one about two years ago called Th3rteen R3ason Why, it was good, sad, but good. I say that because this post was about how good of a dark writer I am and the post it was on was a short prose of the experience of someone committing suicide. So writing multiple of those with more back story and detail could be an interesting thing for me. Maybe my addictions to a show about death and murder is bringing up the dark part of me, I know I am good at writing dark things so I know I should pursue that, but Sleepless is actually going well right now and of what I have written although I notice a dark undertone it is not a dark story everyone that has heard about it or read it has found it to be good and interesting. I love my dark writing but I also love my not so dark writing.

I do have to say that I think I am addicted to the dark writing more, because I am thinking of adding some darker elements into Sleepless, not for sure but seeing where the writing takes me.

On a different note I will be posting more pics of my nephew Zander asap and possibly tomorrow.

Oh this is also going to be a series of post about things I have become addicted to, weather they be books, TV shows, or other things.

I don't normally do this kind of post.

As the title says I don't normally do posts like the one I am now writing(I post after I draft, thus part of the reason for the last post) so why am I now, I don't really know I just felt like, what is this post that I would not normally do, well you're going to just have to keep reading to find out but it won't be too much longer before I get to the point.

Okay so my point, right you want that now. Well let me start with giving a little background on why I don't normally do this type of post, well I don't like confrontation so I try to not rock the boat. I have my views and will express them with my family but I don't even share all my views with them and being my family they can at times gleam what I feel and or how I feel about something, well I am going to share some of my views here today and not everyone my understand or agree with them, that being said remember my last post no ugliness or rude/hurtful comments, state your opinion and be kind to all any ugly or rude comment will not be posted.

So I read today an article on yahoo about ads for atheists and christens, talking about this and that and hoe there is an atheist ad campaign that happens to be running during Christmas. Well I am neither and atheist or a christen, I really don't know what I am. My parents think and say I am having a loss of faith and are sure that I will find my path, I think if I am going to be anything at this time I'll will be a Wicca, but that is for later. As with all articles on yahoo people can comment and there were some fairly ugly comments towards the atheists.

So my views, I think if there is a god he wouldn't care what the people and things he created thought and believed if he or she or some sexless all powerful being exists he she it will love everything it created. It won't send those who don't follow some book written by man and not him her it. He she it won't care if you believe in he she it or not he she it will love you all the same. No matter your beliefs not matter what you do because he she it made you or made it possible for you to be made and made it possible for you think and and breath and move and feel and be who you are and believe what you want, if the is a heaven there is no hell because no being that created a world would send those who he she it made to a place that is full of fire or lack of hope or there is fear or there is hurt, if there is a hell then we are all on it now and if we can make it through then we get the easy afterlife of heaven, we are not judged at death that makes not sense to be judged at death, we all live a life of ups and downs we all live in our own person hells at one point or another so why on earth in hell whatever ever saying you prefer would something someone that allowed to be created send of to a worse place than we are already in, that is just wrong and no loving higher being would do that, no truely loving being could do that.

I don't believe in organized religion, Wicca is the least organized religion that I can see good points in but I still wouldn't join anything, all they do is shove falsehoods down your throat and scare and guilt people in to doing what they think is right they don't talk to god if they do then they are crazy or have some mental disease and need help, either way if anyone say they talk to god they need help. I do get that some people well a lot of people need structure and people telling them what is right and wrong and that it is how a lot of people find tier ethic and morals but all organized religions are technically cults it's just the 'mainstream' ones are culturally and socially accepted but it still doesn't change the fact that they a cults as the definition of the word cult is "a particular system of religious worship, esp. with reference to its rites and ceremonies." this came from dictionary.com. I think if there is a god that life is not a test per say but a way of seeing how its creations is changing and evolving and when our life comes to an end the all power being if it exists will take us to in the infinite space of the universe. As an intellectual being myself I can't truly say what is or is not out there as I do not have all the facts, but I can express my views and say what I think and believe. I don't do these kinds of post because I don't like confrontation but the comments in that article bugged me and I know I didn't link it well I'm thinking I should so here it is.

And that is all for today mostly because I am losing my train of thought.

A small rant

I moderate my comment, I didn't but then I starting getting a ton of spam comments and decided it was just easier to see the spam first before it was posted on the blog, this means I see all comments before they are posted to my blog, also meaning I get to chose what it posted. To be honest I will post most comments, I am open to discussion even if the person is disagreeing with something I have said. Now I have never and have not had a what kind of comments will be tolerated post or page because until recently I had very little on readership and honestly still believe I do and I get very few comments so when I get and email telling me there is a comment on here I get very excited. With that being said if a rude, even in the tiniest of ways, comment pops up chances are I'm not going to allow it to be posted, this manly being I don't want that on my blog, negativity is not wanted or welcome here, you can disagree and have your own opinion just don't be ugly or rude it is not necessary.

Why am I just doing this now well on a recent post I was talking about a comment from a post I had done over a year ago, I enjoyed the comment and it reminded of how good of a dark writer I am, it translated to my novel as I am stuck on developing Leo and Emma's relationship and I'm weird and HAVE TO write from beginning to end. Someone happened to make a comment about my grammar, walking away form it for a bit I know it was more of an observation than meaning to be rude but was just written with a kind of rudeness to it, though being typed it is hard to tell the commenters true intent, anyways I did not post it, finding it slightly rude. For one the post had nothing to do with my grammar and I would also like comments to have some sort of relevance the the post. Secondly I am dyslexic, grammar and editing are not my strong point, in 6th grade I had 4th grade level editing skills I was two years behind then I doubt I ever fully grasped the concepts of editing. That being said I know my grammar sucks, I don't need to be told that, plus the comment said something about getting an editor for my novel, which I kind of have already done as my mom has edited the two complete chapters and I will have her do the same with the rest of the book. I don't edit my post unless I read through and see a major error that makes understanding the point of that post hard otherwise I figure people can figure out what I mean with the few typos or grammar mistakes. I do get someone to edit my novel and other more artistic writings, this blog to me is more of a public journal I don't edit private journal entries and I will only edit blog post if it is glaringly obvious that something needs to be fixed to get my point across, otherwise not going to fix the little mistakes. That being said though if as a reader you see a huge mistake feel free to point it out to me so I can fix it because I am only human and I don't reread all my post all the time so please feel free to tell me if you find something confusing or a little hard to understand so that I can go back and fix it.

And that is all the rant I got in me today.

Remembering

I just got an email because I got a comment on a post I wrote over a year ago. It was written when I was in that deep dark place of not knowing where the hell my ex was and I forgot how good of a dark writer I am. I had to go back and read the piece because from the comment I could not remember what the post was and from reading man I gotta say I really like my dark depressing suicide writing. That and my other really dark pieces seem to be some of my best work, now my novel has me stuck, it does have a dark element to it but I am also trying to add a romance to it and that is giving me some trouble. I think it is because although I was happy with my last relationship it ended very badly and well looking back it wasn't much of a healthy relationship anyways so in the big picture I don't really know how a good relationship should form and how it should work without copying from others and I don't want that it is sad to say that I am inexperienced when it comes to relationships and I admit it is at my own hand but still it is hard for me to write what I don't know. I can write dark and depressing because that is what i have been living for the past few years, but a happy romance it just not working but it is not something I want to cut out. Which is why I am stuck with the novel, because I have to write start to finish and I am at the point where the relationship needs to build and get going I am at odds of what to have happen. I might try adding a darker spin on the romance but I'm not sure that that is what I want.

See I am in a better place then when I stopped writing my last try at a book based on a short story I had written but stopped that one because I took a wrong turn in the plot and had to set it aside to get the fantasy sci-fic out which is why I chose to write 'Sleepless: the story of the 24'. And being stuck on that one is leaving me in a weird place. I want to write and I want to work on Sleepless but I'm not sure how do move forward. I don't want to abandon another novel(not that I really did with the first it is just on hold) and I'm not going to. But I'm really stuck. Maybe I should write some dark prose and see if I can either but them in the novel or have it help me find the romance I need, because really even if I turn the love between Leo and Emma it to something dark it is still a romance and still adds to the story and it may just make it that much better of a novel. Then I will try to do a more normal romance with my first on which deserves to have happy/light/romantic/out of this world romance, Emma has to save the world from her evil father, while Izzy(Isabel) has a completely normal life in a small town nothing strange and weird happening there(plus it takes place way before the sleepless so even if it was the same world Izzy's world is years in the past). But anyways that book will come later and right now I am stuck trying to get Sleepless right. Well writing does take time.

Twitter

I finally got a twitter last night. I was resistant to get one as only using 140 characters is a challenge I don't update my facebook status very much either for that reason although you can say more in the facebook status this but still. But I finally broke down and registered last night and you know I'm still not sure why, It might be more so that I can follow people then actually tweet myself although I will try to get a tweet out there every now and then. I'm not sure if I will use it all that much as although I have been using computers practically my whole life I have never spent a ton of time sitting there on a computer and my phone sucks and there is no way it could last if I tried to tweet from it for any amount of time. Oh well I we will just see how it goes.

Life and Reality TV

So I don't remember if I have said on here yet or not but I'm going to be an aunt in November and it's a boy, Alexander Vincent, we are all very excited even though they live in Delaware. We should be have a baby shower in August here in Texas if my sister in law can travel she is a high risk pregnancy so it is still up in the air. Either way there will be much shopping for my nephew.

I have almost finished chapter 2 of my novel as of right now I have not quite 40 manuscript pages and 11,239 words. I am going to have my mom read the two chapters when I finish the second and then continue on I might post more here later as well.

I've been going through a lot. My ex was here again at the end of May and I may have said something about that already but I sent him an e-mail and he never responded which I expected he wouldn't so not a big deal it still suck though when he decides to communicate and then suddenly disappears again it brings me back to what I felt last year and I just can't feel that way anymore. I really am trying to move on it's just hard to do when he keeps popping in and out of my life every three or so months.

I've been watching The Real Housewives lately which means it the New Jersey ones right now and that stuff is crazy. Some of the stuff that goes on it like wow did that really happen. I feel for Dina who left the show she did what was best for her and I feel for the other housewives that still have to put up with Danielle she is crazy and I really hope she doesn't stay on much longer. I know it's weird for me to talk about TV but from what I've seeing I just had to let it out. The Manzos and their friends seem like good decent people and they have to deal with a crazy woman, and I know they could just not do the show but I would rather see their lives that the crazy persons.

ANd that is all for now.

i started again

That's right tonight I started working on my novel again. I made myself sit down and start writing. Fight the writers block with writing. I am very proud of myself right now. I had not touch my novel since sometime last year and it feels good to be writing it again. And I know people probably think I 'm crazy for this but I have to write in order which is what has partly taken me so long to get back to it. I don't know why but I just have to go in order. So that is the good news for tonight.

Oh and I have a job interview on my birthday for a job at a photography studio, I am very excited and hope I get it, I would love to work on my photography skills and get paid to do it.

I can't believe it

I know, I know it has been forever again but I just haven't had much going. I have pretty much just been going to work and doing my school stuff. Well my cousin did get married a month ago and we have set a date for my sister-in-law's baby shower. She and my brother will be here for about a week in August. Jon is in town again, saw him yesterday, said he would be here for a while so probably will see him again before he leaves. Um... Not much else going on. Oh, I quit my job at the daycare to start at a nanny agency, it should be fun, and easier as I will be dealing with less children. I want to do more work with my novel so I will be trying to find time to do that. And that's about it for now.