So

I have a job now as a nanny to the cutest girl ever, well in my opinion. She is 14 months old and very sweet her name is Braelyn. I have only been with her for one day but it went really well, so much that I can teach her and help her do. And that would be all for today.

Life and Reality TV

So I don't remember if I have said on here yet or not but I'm going to be an aunt in November and it's a boy, Alexander Vincent, we are all very excited even though they live in Delaware. We should be have a baby shower in August here in Texas if my sister in law can travel she is a high risk pregnancy so it is still up in the air. Either way there will be much shopping for my nephew.

I have almost finished chapter 2 of my novel as of right now I have not quite 40 manuscript pages and 11,239 words. I am going to have my mom read the two chapters when I finish the second and then continue on I might post more here later as well.

I've been going through a lot. My ex was here again at the end of May and I may have said something about that already but I sent him an e-mail and he never responded which I expected he wouldn't so not a big deal it still suck though when he decides to communicate and then suddenly disappears again it brings me back to what I felt last year and I just can't feel that way anymore. I really am trying to move on it's just hard to do when he keeps popping in and out of my life every three or so months.

I've been watching The Real Housewives lately which means it the New Jersey ones right now and that stuff is crazy. Some of the stuff that goes on it like wow did that really happen. I feel for Dina who left the show she did what was best for her and I feel for the other housewives that still have to put up with Danielle she is crazy and I really hope she doesn't stay on much longer. I know it's weird for me to talk about TV but from what I've seeing I just had to let it out. The Manzos and their friends seem like good decent people and they have to deal with a crazy woman, and I know they could just not do the show but I would rather see their lives that the crazy persons.

ANd that is all for now.

I'm

20 today. So Happy Birthday to Me and whatnot. Will be fixing profile later.

i started again

That's right tonight I started working on my novel again. I made myself sit down and start writing. Fight the writers block with writing. I am very proud of myself right now. I had not touch my novel since sometime last year and it feels good to be writing it again. And I know people probably think I 'm crazy for this but I have to write in order which is what has partly taken me so long to get back to it. I don't know why but I just have to go in order. So that is the good news for tonight.

Oh and I have a job interview on my birthday for a job at a photography studio, I am very excited and hope I get it, I would love to work on my photography skills and get paid to do it.

I think I'm good now

I sent Jon an email yesterday telling him that when he is in town we can only hang out and nothing farther because it is all I can handle emotionally. I haven't heard back but I told him if he was going to reply to take some time to think. I feel better and yet worse at the same time. Because although I know it is not good for me when we sleep together I don't want him to stop wanting to see me, we are suppose to be friends and it was more like friends with benefits and now I know I can't handle being friends with benefits and that we should just be friends. It is a whole lot of mess, because really I still have feelings for him and wish it could be more, but being in reality I know better than that so I just got to hope we can really be friends even when there is no sex.

I need...

I need a job. Twice now I had been lead to think that I had a job and twice now things have fallen through. My last day at my current job is next week and I really need something else lined up. I am pissed. The first was a summer babysitting job with a family my family kinda knew and the only thing I can think of why I didn't get that job was because the other candidate was older. The other was with a nanny agency and they said they did not interview you unless you were qualified so when I got the interview and the person was talking about just having to do this and that I believed I had the job, well today i got an email that said my references were not up to standards, which I'm pretty sure that is because I have only ever babysat for the families and never actually been a nanny for, but still the agency should have checked the references before the interview because in the interview they said all they had to do was this and then I would go to an orientation and could start taking jobs, so I am pretty pissed off right now about that. I have worked in childcare for going on eight years and just because I was 12 when I start shouldn't stop me from getting jobs. I'm sick of working for other people and I am working on not having to but it will take some time before that can happen, at least six months and I have bills to pay still, a car payment, school, credit cards; my parents can not take that on, I can barely afford it on what I get paid now. I have never had this much trouble finding a job before and it's pissing me off.

I can't believe it

I know, I know it has been forever again but I just haven't had much going. I have pretty much just been going to work and doing my school stuff. Well my cousin did get married a month ago and we have set a date for my sister-in-law's baby shower. She and my brother will be here for about a week in August. Jon is in town again, saw him yesterday, said he would be here for a while so probably will see him again before he leaves. Um... Not much else going on. Oh, I quit my job at the daycare to start at a nanny agency, it should be fun, and easier as I will be dealing with less children. I want to do more work with my novel so I will be trying to find time to do that. And that's about it for now.