Delaware

I am in Delaware visiting my brother. my flight was long and I have been up since 7am yesterday. I would be asleep but we saw Inglorious Bastards and no one can go to sleep right after seeing that. Great movie loved it but oh my it is disturbing. Will be here till the 30th and plan on having a good time with my bro and sis in law.

Well this Feels Good

I have been working on 'Sleepless' for a good portion of the day. It feels really good to get back to my creative writing. I can't believe how long I just let it sit. I now have a good 17 pages of manuscript where I believe I only used to have 5. I sit here now wanting to get back to it. SO to make a short story even shorter here is a part from chapter 1 it is a flashback memory scene, it has what leads to the memory and what pulls the main character out of the memory. Tell me what you think, transition are I think my worst but then I criticize myself too much.


As we walked I began to think of what had started this all for me; two days ago I had been home visiting with my family and now by no choice but my own I was in a dark desert cave. So much had happened that first day back home, so much had changed.
**********
“Emma!” my sister cried as I walked through the door. “I can’t believe it you home for the whole summer, I missed you so much. I have so much to tell you. We have so much to catch up on.
“Hey Emily, I know we have much to talk about but can I at least put my stuff up and get something to eat first please.” I said with a sigh.
“Of course, take your time we have three months together before you leave again.” She hugged me, she was so happy to see me, as I was to see her.
It had been a long year, because of this summer the seniors had not been able to come home during Christmas so it had been a full year since I had seen my family, well other then my baby brother and fellow 24 Collin I had seen him at school, but my parents and Em I had not been allowed to see for a full year and it sucked. It was weird that Em was the only non-24 in the family but she had been born two years before the explosion and therefore was not a child of the aftermath. I was turning nineteen in three weeks and still had a year left at Banner Academy, Collin was fifteen and had four years left. But Emily was twenty-one and had one more year of college but normal college, not where Collin and I were heading, Banner University, the next step toward the future for the 24’s.
There was a knock on my door and I knew it was Emily. “Come in.” I said with another sigh, I wanted some time alone but I knew I wouldn’t get that till later when Emily and my parents pretended to go to bed. Collin and I were expected to keep our studies up, jut quietly so we didn’t “wake” anyone, like they were asleep, Emily would be reading for fun or watching TV and my parents well I tried not to think of what they did at night.
“Hey Emma, how was your year?” she asked in a shy voice I knew she could tell I wasn’t up to talking yet so she was starting off slow trying to get me to talk first so she could tell me about her fun times at college without feeling so bad.
“You know, same old same old, nothing different, ask again next summer and it might be different with all the being prepared for Banner U and what not.” I tried to keep the sarcasm out of my voice but I don’t think it worked.
“Emma I know you are having a hard time with all this but look you get to be home all summer and Collin still has to go back in two weeks. You know it will get better at BU I’m sure you will get more freedom there…”she trailed off. No one knew what BU was going to be like my class would be the first attending. “You know I pretty sure college is suppose to be a choice, I’m sure you could go somewhere else if you didn’t want to go to Banner U.” she said with hope.
“I wish it was a choice but what am I going to do at a normal University even if I went to Harvard or Yale or some other school like that I would be bored and ahead of everyone. This next year is the equivalent to the second year at a normal University.” I had no hope of going anywhere but Banner U and everyone knew it.
“Well I’m still sure you will have fun.” Emily was trying to be helpful but we all knew that Collin and I were different and therefore had a different path.
Emily was only a year older then the last group of ‘normal’ children so she knew that normal schools were fading out and being replaced by more Banner Academy’s as where the University’s. It was a sad thing but no one really saw it that way. Everyone said that the 24’s were the future and since an antidote to what caused the whole mess is unlikely to be found we really were the future.
It was weird Emily wasn’t old enough when it happened to remember sleep but she remembers dreaming. She misses it greatly, I think the dreams she remembers is what gives her the hope she has. We talked until she had to go fake being asleep. It was then that I went to my room to study.
I turned the TV on for background noise but the story caught my eye so I turned it up to hear… “Tonight on the midnight news a recap of Emma Stone’s life, for the first time in sixteen years Emma will be away from Banner Academy for three months. Tomorrow an interview with Emma to see how she is handling the time away from the place she has known as home for so long…” the stupid story irritated me so I turned off the TV and found a good station on the radio to listen to instead.
After about a half hour of music the announcer came on I figured he was just going to say what songs were coming up but instead he said something that caught my attention. “Tonight’s songs are all dedicated to the many people that disappeared twenty years ago, they are all missed and it remains a mystery today what happened to them…” the music began after that and it got me thinking, what if I disappeared. I’m so sick of all the attention, can I just vanish. My plan was hatched and I sought to try.
I left that night at about 1am. I ran as fast as I could until I was out of the LA city limits. Then I shifted between running walking and sprinting east towards the Arizona desert the darkest place in the country, no one would ever think to look for me there, I would be safe and able to vanish from the world of the sleepless and 24’s.
“Emma?” I heard Leo call my name and was jerked out of the memory. I could see light ahead so we must have made it into the cave.
©2009 Megan Hubby

Things are Looking Up

I did not see Jon while he was in Texas, but this is a good thing I was not ready. He wasn't here very either. But we've been talking tonight and I understand more now where things went wrong. He did his bad and I did mine and now I think I can truly start to heal. I'm beginning to feel good. I don't know when I will be ready to move on but I know it will be closer now then it was before, also knowing that he is not ready to move on either helps, it lets me know this was hard for both of us but also that it would most likely have happened eventually. Live and Learn and then move on with your life.

And then I broke down

Since I knew that Jon was actually in Texas only about 20 minutes away I haven't been able to stop thinking about him. It's weird I was getting over him I was coming to grips with the fact that we could only be friends and long distance friends at that but I was dealing with it. And then out of nowhere I see him sign on to yahoo so I make myself available instead of invisible just to see if he notices I really didn't expect to actually talk to him but 'hi' first and we talked for about an hour. He said he was coming to visit family and asked if while he was here I would like to get together for lunch and although it hasn't happened yet it's all I can really think about. Last night I broke down. All I could do was cry, I realized I was getting what I had been wishing for since he left for California and then disappeared to Japan, I get to see him again but I also realized it was not in the way I wanted to. All that time that I had no clue where he was or if he was ok I worried and wished to have him back, I wanted him back so that things could be back to how they were, so we could be together again. I realized it is to early to see him again going into it as just friends or even to get my real goodbye. But I also know that I will still see him if he wants to get together for lunch. He texted me when he got here and I'm sure when he has the time to get away from his family he will ask me to lunch and I will go see him. I know it will hurt me I know it will set me back in the healing process, since it already has. But I can deal with all that I can deal will whatever pain comes along with reopening the hurt because it is what I have been wishing for since he disappeared all those months ago. I know I will take whit seeing him because it is what I really want to do, it is what my heart and I am going to give it what it wants. There is still hope in my heart and ev