Tuesday, September 21, 2010

It's Done

I got sick of being ignored or whatever by him so I sent him an email today saying some of the things that I wanted to say and asking some of the questions I had wanted to ask saying I would cut him out if he was a jerk again because I cared about him and in the past year he has made it really to do that and I needed answers and he said he didn't have any so I've cut him out this should be the last post about him ever and I wish I could have had an easier time moving on last year when this all started but life is life and you can't change it, you may notice I don't even want to type his name anymore. He lied many time and he's become a jerk and I don't need that, so he's out. I deleted him from my phone email and im and I may even go delete the post about him after this has been up for a bit but not sure as he still was a part of my life at one point and I can't change that. I sad but glad it's over I can really move on now knowing that I hopefully won't ever have to hear from him or see him again.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Why is this happening

Why is life going this way?
Why was he all I could think about for the last few weeks?
Why is he back?
Why is all this happening?
Over a year has past
It's been over a year
He's been in and out of my life
In and out
In and out
I don't know how much more of this I can take
But life goes on and I have to deal with this
I have to deal with all of it
I have to deal with it all
I have to keep going and I have to talk
To him
To people
To myself
I have to talk about it.

Monday, September 13, 2010

I can't even believe it

So I got a text at work today from someone I use to work I guess you would still call us friends just with my hours and school I have no time to do anything other than school work and family time/ time to relax and try to write. Anyways back to the text she was asking for Jon's number I was confused and asked why she said she thought he was texting her and it was him before I could give her his number he had confirmed to her that he was him(that sounded really confusing but it is how it happened) anyways I was then confused to why he was texting her and not me and then she sent me a text from him about an email I had sent back in May the last time he was in town and he took it the wrong way plus he had tried to send me emails but I haven't gotten them. Well I said she could give him my number, he claimed he had lost it, and he texted me saying Jessie, my friend, said he needed to call me but he wasn't in a place where he could and I was ok with that since I was at work, anyways turns out he is moving back to Austin, that's right I said moving back to Austin. I'm shocked, surprised, and have a ton of other emotions running through my head and that still can't explain all that I'm going through with that little news. I hoping to be able to talk to him more and see what this really means but still I can't believe it and don't exactly know how to deal with it.