I sent Jon an email yesterday telling him that when he is in town we can only hang out and nothing farther because it is all I can handle emotionally. I haven't heard back but I told him if he was going to reply to take some time to think. I feel better and yet worse at the same time. Because although I know it is not good for me when we sleep together I don't want him to stop wanting to see me, we are suppose to be friends and it was more like friends with benefits and now I know I can't handle being friends with benefits and that we should just be friends. It is a whole lot of mess, because really I still have feelings for him and wish it could be more, but being in reality I know better than that so I just got to hope we can really be friends even when there is no sex.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
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