Sunday Selections 9

So it is Sunday Selections time again. This meme is brought to you by the lovely KIM. These are pics from my brothers Air Force Basic Training Graduation.

I feel I need to, and random bits

I really fell I need to post more often. I mean I look at my blog everyday to get to the blogs I read and I really do want to write more and this is my easiest form at the moment at least when it comes to people reading what I write. I've had quite a lot of reader lately and mostly form different countries. Now I do write in a journal type thing but I need to get another one for personal use because the one I have right now is for my exploration into Wicca. And even though that is a personal choice and issue I don't want to mix it with the on going thought I have about my day to day life that I do not wish to share with everyone well anyone for that matter.

Which brings me back to needing to post more. Or at least I feel I need to post more. I don't know I thinks it more I want to post more. For the last few days I've come to look for new post on the blogs I read and have thought to myself 'I need to post' I just finally did that today.

I am excited to say that I am reading for pleasure again, it's been a while and it feels good to escape into a world of fantasy. It makes me want to pick back up in writing my novel but when I just look at my time I have very little time for myself with work and school, and I'm still not in a place to be writing some of the sub-plots of my book, I need to be happier, not that I'm not happy, I'm just not happy enough. I'm also really tired and my brain goes all fuzzy when tired.

I was looking for paper the other day and found my journal for my senior year I didn't even remember writing some of the stuff and reading about things that happened some of it was like 'That happened? I can't believe I forgot about that" Wow what almost two years does to the memory.

I got my new car. That was an exciting experience. Have had it for about 3 weeks. It's an 07 Chevy Equinox. I LOVE IT! It is a dark gray and looks like the picture mostly, mines muddy from having a dirt driveway and it raining for the last three weeks.


On a sadder yet exciting note my older brother passed the test/training he needed to to be deployed. Which is good for his career but sad to think that he could be sent overseas to where it is not safe.

Well I know this had random jumps but it was what what on my mind and it felt good to write again.

What to Say, What to Say?

It's been a while since I posted, I was in Delaware visiting my brother and sister and law who I became very close to, and now I am working at my parents daycare center again and do not have much time to get on the interwebs much. I also have not been able to write much either, which irritates me, but I like to write from beginning to end and I'm at a point where I need to build the romantic relationship between the main character and her going to be lover but it is hard to do in my state of mind, I should have been writing it while I was with Jon but I was to preoccupied to at the time, so I either have to write another part or put it aside for a while, and I've decided to put it aside for a bit. When I have more time and I'm in a better state of mind I will pick it up again. It is still vividly in my head and I will get back to it and hopefully soon, I don't want to desert Emma and her world I just need time so I can be able to write the romantic mushy stuff without crying or breaking Emma's heart because that's not suppose to happen. I'll keep updating on here whenever something new happens, but for right now it is really time to get over my own personal heartbreak and truly move on with my life.

Delaware

I am in Delaware visiting my brother. my flight was long and I have been up since 7am yesterday. I would be asleep but we saw Inglorious Bastards and no one can go to sleep right after seeing that. Great movie loved it but oh my it is disturbing. Will be here till the 30th and plan on having a good time with my bro and sis in law.

Well Then

This month has been stressful and hard and haven't felt like writing either on my blog or my novel. I'm so tired and stressed and just don't want to deal with any thing. I am going to visit my bro in Delaware before I officially move and while I'm there we will be visiting our grandparents on my dad's side who we have not seen in 2 years. this should be an interesting trip. That is really all I can think to get out. Hopefully my brain will start working again soon and the writing juices will return.

Blankness

I am so out of it right now. Jon agrees with me that his moving was a big part but he said a part. We are emailing now so it is easier to communicate and we are trying to be friends and talk about the mundane things that go on in our life. I can't really think clearly and I might be moving to Dover to stay with my brother and his wife. I need the change and think it will help. I will be helping them move and staying with them for a while and during that time I will make the decision to move or not. My life is one big ball of confusion and I hope I can figure things out soon.

July 4th and a long drive

I just spent over nine hours in a car driving from Texas to Arkansas we left Austin Area at about 10:30pm and hit Little Rock Air Force Base at about 8:00am. And what was this long drive for to see my big brother and bring him a ton of crap that he will need and or want once he moves to Dover in the next few weeks. I am exhausted I got very little sleep the night before we left going to bed around one and being woken up by my cat at 3am and then again at 5am I was not happy with her. And then we had many things to do and got no nap before leaving and got very little sleep on the way being stuck in a car. it was not fun not fun at all. So now I can't sleep and can't really think now cause of exhaustion.

...

I don't know what to post. My brother is in Maryland and is getting trained for public affairs. He has a 17&1/2 week program and then he will have about 25 days leave where he will get married have a honeymoon and move to what ever base he gets stationed at. He will be getting out of Tech school just as I finish up this semester. By then I will know if I am staying in Texas or moving to California. I realized that it will be about the time I get ready to register for classes that Jon and I will have to decide where we are taking our relationship. I don't like the stress and it has been really hard on me to know that Jon is leaving soon. I don't really know how to deal with any of this and I am not handling it well. i am trying to live one day at a time it it is a really hard thing to do when my brain is going 100 thoughts a minute and I just want it to stop.

EA wins

Sony came back saying that they could not match or do any better then what they had already offered so Jon is now a proud member of the EA Games family. We still have no clue when he is moving he is now waiting on more details.

I will be leaving for San Antonio in a little bit getting to see my brother for the first time in two months. Funny thing is he sent me a letter to my dorm but I had already moved back to my parents for the break and did not get it until yesterday, Jon says I fail. Which yes at checking my mail I do.

And that is it for now.

What a Day

So classes started today and I only had one at eight this morning. It was French I have it everyday, but it is the only class I have on Tuesdays and Thursdays so if I do my homework for the class right after the class I am done with school on Tuesdays and Thursdays by ten. I work on Tuesdays now so I really just get a break between school and work but on Thursdays when I don't work all that time I will have, and what will I do with it. Most likely sleep, or get stuff for other classes done, I will just have to see how productive I feel. Although tomorrow and Mondays and Fridays and also all the Wednesdays this Semester I will have four classes staring with French and ending at two with Geography of Latin America at two, with Astronomy and Fundamentals of Acting in the middle. Really thinking about it and typing it out makes it feel a whole lot less stressful then last semester, I'm thinking I will have a really fun semester.

I leave tomorrow for San Antonio to see my big bro graduate from Air Force Basic Training and to possibly get married. No one in the Austin area knows what is really going to happen with the wedding, it is one mass of confusion.

Jon lost a co-worker who was a good friend to him, to suicide, on Wednesday of last week, but because of a dental appointment he had Thursday he did not find out about it until yesterday. I didn't get to see him but when I was talking to him he sounded so out of it, I felt really bad that he had to go through this so close to such a good life change in his life. Which last i heard EA was up to 60k a year plus moving expenses and the whatever it would cost for Jon to break his lease here in Texas. I guess we are waiting to hear what Sony offers to that and then he should be making hid decision on which company he will be working for, he would prefer EA so lets all just hope that Sony wont offer anymore then the 58k they are already at.

That would be it for now, cause life just keeps going.

Tidbits

Well I hate work, we are so busy with Thanksgiving coming up. I have to work the day before Thanksgiving for six hours and I am not looking forward to it. I want classes to be over, I'm done with school, I want it to be over, I need a break. My brother left sometime today for basic which means I don't get to talk or see him for eight and a half weeks. I really don't want to spend time with my family but with the holidays coming I kinda have to. Jon is going to Oklahoma to visit his family for Thanksgiving, he is leaving Wednesday, I will be trying to see him tomorrow and Tuesday. Then he doesn't come back till Saturday but the good thing is I have decently early shifts this weekend so I should be able to see him Saturday and Sunday, but will just have to play it by ear. I love my Birth Control, it rocks, nuf said. And that would be life for now.

Sadness

My brother leaves Sunday and today was the last day I will see him for two and a half months. We spent the day together and he meet Jon, but I can't believe that he will be gone for so long, and I wont be able to talk to him for so long. Today was a good day but a sad day. I'm going to miss him even if it is just for two months, it's just the start nest it will be off to tech school and then he will be stationed somewhere, never thought anyone in my family would join the military, it is a sad day.

I also happen to be getting sick, Jon gave it to me, it sucks, I have to make it through work this weekend and I work next Wednesday because it's the day before Thanksgiving and my store will be extremely busy, which sucks. Plus i am exhausted and have been for the past few days.

All in all today was a sad day.

Other then I saw Twilight, not as good as the book, but worth seeing.

Perspective

I am no longer mad at Jon. Why you ask, well my older brother who is the person I am closest to in my actual family is being shipped off to basic as he enters the Air Force. When? The 25th of this month two days before Thanksgiving. I found out on my last break at work tonight, I couldn't believe it he wasn't suppose to go till February/March and now he leave in about a week. What's worse is that right now he is in Arkansas visiting his fiancee, which is good for him but it means he will be with my family for only four days before leaving again and because i no longer live with my family I will only get to see him one more time next Friday when we have a fake Thanksgiving with him before he leaves. All this really made me see the perspective of why I was mad at Jon, yes he was a jackass and said and did some jackass things on Saturday but he is 24 and can go out and drink, I mean he is six years older then me what did I really expect. But I was also mad at him for a pretty foolish and stupid reason so I had to just let it go. My friend/manager, when I told her this as I was leaving work, asked how I was so grown up, she said that was not a typical 18 year-old response, and she's probably right most other 18 year-olds would continue to be pissed and not forgive so quickly but I've never been a teenager I've always been mentally older then my actual age, why I'm dating someone that many years older then me. It made me feel good to hear my friend say that, she is 27 and hearing it from her meant a lot, I mean it is a more adult thing to do and I can see that, but again as I said I've never really been a teen so it's normal for me, I will get pissed at someone for a stupid reason and then just give me a day, or sometime to think, or shock me into reality and I will forgive, I won't forget, but I'll forgive.

My parents invited Jon to our fake Thanksgiving, not sure if he will go or not, I think he's scared to meet them, if I were him I would be. But I'm trying to get him to go not that I'm really ready to introduce him to my rents it has only been a month but I don't think I will be able to see him this week if he doesn't come to the fake Thanksgiving. I've left it up to him, it's his choice, I won't force him to go. That's what I'm saying and I'm sticking to it.

And this is my 12th post this month which means that I will definitely pass the 12 post mark set by myself in the first two months I had this blog. YAY!


**Update my bro actually leaves the 23rd, found that out yesterday. :(