I feel I need to, and random bits

I really fell I need to post more often. I mean I look at my blog everyday to get to the blogs I read and I really do want to write more and this is my easiest form at the moment at least when it comes to people reading what I write. I've had quite a lot of reader lately and mostly form different countries. Now I do write in a journal type thing but I need to get another one for personal use because the one I have right now is for my exploration into Wicca. And even though that is a personal choice and issue I don't want to mix it with the on going thought I have about my day to day life that I do not wish to share with everyone well anyone for that matter.

Which brings me back to needing to post more. Or at least I feel I need to post more. I don't know I thinks it more I want to post more. For the last few days I've come to look for new post on the blogs I read and have thought to myself 'I need to post' I just finally did that today.

I am excited to say that I am reading for pleasure again, it's been a while and it feels good to escape into a world of fantasy. It makes me want to pick back up in writing my novel but when I just look at my time I have very little time for myself with work and school, and I'm still not in a place to be writing some of the sub-plots of my book, I need to be happier, not that I'm not happy, I'm just not happy enough. I'm also really tired and my brain goes all fuzzy when tired.

I was looking for paper the other day and found my journal for my senior year I didn't even remember writing some of the stuff and reading about things that happened some of it was like 'That happened? I can't believe I forgot about that" Wow what almost two years does to the memory.

I got my new car. That was an exciting experience. Have had it for about 3 weeks. It's an 07 Chevy Equinox. I LOVE IT! It is a dark gray and looks like the picture mostly, mines muddy from having a dirt driveway and it raining for the last three weeks.


On a sadder yet exciting note my older brother passed the test/training he needed to to be deployed. Which is good for his career but sad to think that he could be sent overseas to where it is not safe.

Well I know this had random jumps but it was what what on my mind and it felt good to write again.

I don't Know What to Do

So Jon has been in Asia for the past month and the last I heard from him was on March 20th that he was still out of the country and had a big day the next day, then he went to bed, it was 11pm-ish there so it made sense but I got no info on why it was a big day. i think he is still out of the country but not sure where or even if he really is I can only assume because when I call his phone does the same thing it did when he was first in China. But I am still stressing out and I don't want to, I have so much going on with school and I just can't take the additional stress of not knowing where he is and if he is okay, but he must be okay if he wasn't I would have heard, because you always hear the bad news. But it is still so hard I don't know if it is because of the way he left or because he was in California for TWO days, yeah only TWO days before leaving the country and me not being able to get a hold of him. I get he works for a big international company and it makes sense that he be out of the country promoting a game for six weeks which would be this week, this week makes six weeks out of the country, but out of the times that I have talked to him on the 14th they were done with the promoting and were spending a week in Japan to visit well it is going on the second week since then so he should be back unless things changed, which they must have. But I have no clue what to do, I have no clue how to feel, I have no clue anymore. I need help, I need to talk to people, but I want to talk to Jon and I need to talk to Jon, and right now that doesn't look like it's going to happen anytime soon. My life sucks ass right now and I want it to stop and be over with.