Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I don't Know What to Do

So Jon has been in Asia for the past month and the last I heard from him was on March 20th that he was still out of the country and had a big day the next day, then he went to bed, it was 11pm-ish there so it made sense but I got no info on why it was a big day. i think he is still out of the country but not sure where or even if he really is I can only assume because when I call his phone does the same thing it did when he was first in China. But I am still stressing out and I don't want to, I have so much going on with school and I just can't take the additional stress of not knowing where he is and if he is okay, but he must be okay if he wasn't I would have heard, because you always hear the bad news. But it is still so hard I don't know if it is because of the way he left or because he was in California for TWO days, yeah only TWO days before leaving the country and me not being able to get a hold of him. I get he works for a big international company and it makes sense that he be out of the country promoting a game for six weeks which would be this week, this week makes six weeks out of the country, but out of the times that I have talked to him on the 14th they were done with the promoting and were spending a week in Japan to visit well it is going on the second week since then so he should be back unless things changed, which they must have. But I have no clue what to do, I have no clue how to feel, I have no clue anymore. I need help, I need to talk to people, but I want to talk to Jon and I need to talk to Jon, and right now that doesn't look like it's going to happen anytime soon. My life sucks ass right now and I want it to stop and be over with.


Dina said...

It sounds like he's not doing good at keeping in touch which is very unfair to you.

There's no excuse for it in this day. He could always go out and find an Internet cafe and email you. I can understand being out of touch for a day or so...but not 12 days.

It's really not right.

It seems to me that he's not making you a priority. I know you love him and he's very important to you. But I'll say from my own personal experience, it's really hard to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't put you high up on their list of priorities. The hurting continues...goes on and on.

I also know (from experience!) it's hard to let go of these people when you're so madly in love with them.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

I think you have to ask yourself. Do you want to be with a man who you have strong feelings for, but is often thoughtless towards you?

Or do you want a man who's madly in love with you as you're madly in love with him....who will go out of his way to find a way to communicate with you.

In my opinion, the only excuse for him not communicating is he's been kidnapped or something. And like you said, you would have heard if something that bad has happened.

If you story is like mine...he'll finally call. You'll be so happy to hear from him. He'll give you a million flimsy excuses about why he couldn't call you. You won't care. You'll forgive him...everything. You'll just be so happy he called. You'll be happy he's thrown you any type of attention.

I'm sorry if this is harsh.

I just hate seeing someone making the same mistakes I did.

You're beautiful, sweet, and smart. I think there's a man out there who will give you the love and attention you TRULY deserve.