Friday, January 9, 2009

California, the not so Happy state

The last month of my life has been stressful. I found out just days before Jon left for Oklahoma that he had two possible job opportunities in California. And I found out the day before he left that he was leaving, the was Wednesday, he left Thursday and wont be back till late Sunday, I don't get to see him till Tuesday, maybe Monday if I can pull it. But the lack of time is not really my stresser, yes I would love to have more time to spend together, but I understand why we don't right now. What is really stressing me is what this move could do to our relationship. It could flat out end it, not likely since neither Jon or I want that. It could put a major strain on it as we try to pull off the long distance thing. Or it could rapidly speed it up as we look at other ways to stay close. The thing is my brain went into overdrive thinking about it the minute he questioned what this opportunity would do to us. But then I also refused to talk to him about it. At first I said lets talk about it when it is really facing us, then when it was, when he knew he had the interviews and he tried again I said I didn't want to end it cause he was moving and then changed the subject. We were trying to see each other Wednesday before he left but he had dinner plans with some friends and then his boss called and said that he needed him in the office at 4am, his flight was at noon there was no way for him to say no, and thus I have not seen him since technically Monday morning. We talked a lot Wednesday because i couldn't accept his answer and he had to really explain himself to get me to understand. Then he texted me on his way to the airport and I broke down, I couldn't handle it, it became way to real for me. I slept the majority of Thursday, I was depressed as hell, and had nothing to help me out of it. I called him later that night and we talked for a bit, but we were both so tired it just wasn't working. Today he had his first interview of the trip with EA Games, he got the job, they know he has an interview tomorrow as well and once he finds out what Sony says the two companies are going to pretty much have a money fight, the one who offers the most wins. I found that out around 3 this afternoon, I started to think again. I called him at about 6:30 this evening to talk about what this meant for us but it was too hard to do over the phone so we just talked for an hour, it was good it helped me. I still can't believe all this is happening and I wish Jon were here to talk about it, but only a couple more days and we should be able to work this all out.

I would also happen to have a cold. I believe it finally started to affect me because of my break down Thursday. I mean I have had a fever for almost a week now and so the day I gave up on my strength would be the day that the cold would start to affect me.

UT won the Fiesta Bowl! YAY! And the Gators beat OU! At least some things are going ok.


Dina said...


You're both really facing some tough decisions.

hopefully you'll be able to figure something out that will work for both of you.

I did the long distance thing for awhile.