Goodbye 2011 Hello 2012

A lot has happened this year. I turned 21, my nephew turned 1, I found out I was going to be an aunt again but with a niece on the way, I came to the realization that my beliefs had change(recently which is why no post on it yet later on this will come later in the post), we got a new dog(a great Dane named Deo, we got Rose last year she is a Australian Shepard lab mix, Callie is not happy but has gotten used to them a bit), got to see family I hadn't seen in a while, got frustrated with school, had a break through on my writer block, and oh so much more that I can't think of because it's nearly 1am. I am also looking forward to the new year. I already have some things planed, lots of travel(well at least that is in the near future), graduation from University(I know I may have to change the name of my blog), and a lot of unknown.

So as for the past year I feel like I have had a lot of ups which makes for a good year. I may not be where I want to be in my personal life but hey you really can't force that now can you, however as for school and work and my novel I am in a good place, yes I need to make more time to write but the last few months away from it to relax has been helpful,no writers block just needed to think and get the story straight.

Now the change in beliefs. I don't talk about it much as unless you are going out to talk about beliefs and what not I've been taught not to really talk about mine but this is my blog so I am going to and probably will be doing so more in the future. So I discovered I was closer to atheist then theist which in all honesty I've felt that for a while not knowing if there was a god and well through research and exploration I feel there is not, however I do have thoughts about it if there by some chance there happens to be one or many. Again more to come in the future on this. That being said I am closer to being agnostic atheist then just atheist but my views are still developing so who knows where they will go. Already I know i will be attending the Reason Rally in DC this March 24th, my younger brother and I will be hopefully taking a bus to DC to attended the event and we are both really excited(I say hopefully because it is not for sure that the bus will be going until in March, enough people have to sign up for seats for it to leave from Austin).

My niece should be born sometime in the week prior to the Reason Rally and going to the Rally will most likely delay when I get to see her which is okay I didn't meet Zander until a few weeks after his birth as he was in Dover and I could only take the week of Thanksgiving off at the time and I am trying to take as little time off as possible as work may be changing as well but it is too soon to talk about in more detail yet, But I will see Kenzi shortly after her birth since she will be in Arkansas which is just a short 7 to 9 hour drive from Austin, no big deal.

All in all I am looking ahead to the new year and will do my best to write more as well as many other things I plan to make more time for.

Post xmas

Well first off today is my dad's birthday. So Happy Birthday to him. We had a good xmas nice quite simple. My sister-in-law is going to Arkansas to have Kenzi, but I believe it haas more to do with my brother getting crap at work then the need for her to learn to drive though she will be stuck in Arkansas for at least two month after Kenzi is born so she can be properly vacinated before going back to Dover. This makes it easier for me and my family in Texas to see her as the drive to Arkansas is cheaper than tickets to Dover. And I believe that is all right now.

Sunday Selections Europe part 4

Sunday Selections is brought to you by KIM! These pics are from Spain. That chocolate stuff in the first one was soooooo good.

Chance to travel

So I am a part of the National Society of Collegiate Scholars and as part of that I have been accepted to have a chance to travel internationally Australia being one of the places to chose from and while I would really love to do it I can't. Don't just because it is expensive I could get a scholarship and probably even save the money if I saved all that was left after bills from my paycheck. No the problem is school. I go to classes year round with a one week break between each ten week term and while it will have me finishing my degree this October it makes it hard to travel like that with a group that has a planed schedule for the time that I would be their. Now if I planed a trip myself it would be different I could plan in the school work my seminars would be the only tricky thing as they are done in eastern time but still it would be possible but not on a group trip like that it just does not work. I really want to do it but it would also require me to take two weeks off work and that would make paying the bills for that month tight. I am sad I cannot go but right now I have to think logically.

Sunday Selections Europe part 3

Sunday Selections is brought to you by KIM. The first three photos where taken in Barcelona, Spain the last was taken in Paris.

Sunday Selections Europe part 2

Sunday Selections is brought to you by KIM at frogpondsrock. These are Paris and Biarritz, one is from the top of the Arc de Triomphe. On is a cool view up from right under the Eiffel Tower. Then the beach shot is the beach in Biarritz that was taken on my 16th birthday and the cake was my birthday cake that we had at the restaurant that we went to to have dinner.

Thankgiving

Happy Thanksgiving. Hope every has a great day.

Update and some thoughts

So it has been a while since I did a decent post. Halloween was uneventful a normal day at work and then a quite night in, my family got back late from bringing my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew to Arkansas. We went back there the following weekend for my nephew's first birthday. It was a good time and it was fun to see how happy he was with the cake, thought he is allergic it would seem to the food coloring. I do have picture but they are still on my camera haven't had a chance to get them onto a computer yet. Some things went down that weren't so great but they are still up in the air so I can't really talk about them yet. My sister-in-law is pregnant again it's a girl Mackenzi Renee. She is due in March on my little brother due date actually, though Wesley got evicted (mom was educed so she did not give birth in the car on the way to the hospital, older brother born in about an hour fifteen minutes of active labor I was forty five minutes they were scared it would reduce again an it did mom had only about thirty minutes of active labor with the little brother). Though since Zander was born via c-section Kenzi(or Zi(pronounced z)) has to as well as it has not been enough time for my sis in law to try naturally. But we are all excited if not a little shocked, Kenzi and Zander will only be 16 months apart.

My grandfather who has been in bad health recently is doing worse we don't know how much longer he has but it is probably not very long. I don't know how I feel about this as I have never had a good relationship with him. He tried to beat me when I was only five because I tried to kick my seven year old cousin who was living with us at the time out of the house my grandparents were visiting and were in their RV out in the yard which is where my cousin went, I had to barricade a door until my parents got home and yelled at my grandfather because in their mind it did not matter what I did they would not beat me or let him beat me. I have no other strong memories of him and from what I have been told of my mother's childhood she(well not so much she, she was practically invisible to her parents no matter what she did) and her sibling were beaten regularly in today's society they would have been removed from their home. So it hard to feel sad for a man that was so terrible add to that that he was an alcoholic, a functioning one but still and knowing that part of that fueled my mother's(well when she did get them) , aunts, and uncle's( two aunts one uncle that died before I was born but that is a story for a different post) beating makes it harder. I know my grandmother will be sad an my mom and that makes it hard but I don't know how I will truly feel and that is hard.

There is something I want to write about but can't yet as it has not been dealt with yet I will be dealing with it soon and then probably feel compelled to write about it.

My computer is still dead and while I've gotten my novel back it is hard to write when I know I have to save it in multiple places. I really need a new computer but there is just so much other stuff going on right now that it hard to think about shelling out the money needed to get a decent laptop that will last a good few years, well hopefully more than a few years.

Well that is it fir now I guess hopefully I will be writing more on here at least.

Sunday Selections random

Sunday Selections is brought to you by KIM

Sunday Selections Massachusetts part 2

More pica from Massachusetts. Sunday Selections is brought to you by KIM

Sunday Selections Europe Edition part 1

This week pictures from my Europe trip in the summer of 2006. I think I will be posting many of this theme for a while as these photos have been lost since the summer of 2008 until recently. Sunday Selections is brought to you by Kim at Frogpondsrock.



The Eiffel Tower from the distance I think I was on a roof of some sort


Awesome bench in Barcelona


Dessert at my 16th Birthday in Biarritz


Random Cow on a street in Paris

Sunday Selections Massachusetts edition

Here are some pictures from a trip to Massachusetts a few years back.







The house I lived in when we lived in Mass.


The house my dad grew up in.


My mom's old house that she grew up in.

Sunday Selections...

I have found some of my pictures, YES. Two are of Zander around Easter of 2011. The other is B the little girl I watch from last Halloween.

I want to be lazy

As we know I have my book back but because of school and work I actually haven't had the time I wanted to work on it. School is the real killer. I am on week 8 of the 10 week term but oh how I wish it were done, though that only gives me a week break before starting two new classes. I have about five terms left after the current one ends which is great but I wish the breaks were longer. I will say that I have been writing in my head, I have a good portion set up I just need put it to paper. I wish I could be lazy and write what I want to write instead of having to write parers. Well the stress should be over in about a year and hopefully I will be able to work on my novel during this year.

Good News

And I am going to be an aunt again. It would seem that my sister in law is pregnant again. She is in a state of shock as my nephew is only 9 months old. The baby is due sometime in March.

I'v got it Back

So I got an external hard drive and now have my novel back as well as pictures that have been missing for years from another computer. So I am very happy now and will be working hard on my novel so that I can finish it.

A little Lost

So it has been over a month since my last post. Since my computer died I have not been able to work on my novel, while we have a server and most of my book is on it it is mussing some of the latest things I had written before my computer died. So until I can get an external hard drive and get my computer to people who work with computers I am left with no way to work on my novel which has left me not in a writing on the blog mode. I had a great time traveling, got to see family that I hadn't seen for a while plus I got to see my nephew again but it was too short as I was only there for the weekend. So I am hoping to be able to get my computers contents soon which means I hopefully will be writing here more





Zander at 6 months and my Mom

Travel

I will be going to Massachusetts at the beginning of July. My family has things to do and well I didn't want to spend that weekend with the small remainder of relatives that would be in town still, plus my mother is making my brother drive up so I will get to see my nephew again. The only problem is that it has pretty much killed my finances for the month so that kinda sucks. But whatever I get to see family.

Also I have mentioned it before but my computer died and I and bouncing from the other computers left in the house to try to stay online and connected, which is why I have not been posting Sunday Selections lately as I do not have my pictures.

The big One

Well it's my birthday today and it's the big 21. It was a great day and I had a good time.

Sunday Selections hopefully

Not a lot today as my motherboard died and I am using my mothers computer until I can get a new one and transfer my stuff from the hard-drive to the new computer which will hopefully be soon. Anyways this meme is brought to you by KIM!

Posting some of my old writing

So this is a piece I wrote in high school. I goes with a piece I wrote years ago on here, though it came first and I would have posted it then but could find it. Anyways it is a sad piece as it was written when I was in a fairly dark place though as I've said before I am also just good at writing dark as I been perfectly happy while writing dark before, not the case for these two pieces but yeah. Anyways you can find the second piece here. This is just a warning that it is not the happiest thing to read as the piece is tittled Suicide. But anyways here it is hope it gives you the chills.


I walked; just kept walking. Only I could hear the music, the world around me was oblivious to what was happening. Everything I saw was a sign and I knew what I had to do. The music got louder and I began to run. I ran through the streets filled with the ignorant people, filled with the smell of rotting skin; I could taste the vile fragrance in the air. I felt the moisture in the sky and knew it would be raining soon. It went straight to pouring and I stopped my run and returned to a walk. I knew it would be over soon.

I was there, I could see it in the distance; the tall sturdy shape I began to climb. Up I went past the windows and doors, the music still growing louder and still only I hearing it. I past the stars and the moon and the people around me still did not see what was happening. I reached the top, I shout “Stupid people” no one can hear me. I was above the moon and the stars; I was above all of them, above all the pain.

I jumped back into reality. The people below were all looking up and the music was gone. I could feel, smell, and taste the rain as it poured down. I was on the roof of a tall building and did not know how I got there. All the people were staring at me; “stop” I shouted and someone shouted something back, they could hear me not too. I couldn’t take reality; I closed my eyes.

When I opened my eyes reality was gone and the people again paid no attention to me as the music returned louder than before. The rain felt so cold on my skin and as the music got louder I looked up to the universe and wished something would come take me.

Reality again, people below now shouting “Don’t Jump! Stay where you are someone is coming to talk to you.” I don’t want this reality, the music is gone and people can see and hear me. I close my eyes and fell the tears mix with the rain.

The music is back and the people disappear. I begin to dance, the rain is still pouring and I am standing on grass now, it is wet and slippery. I start to spin round and round returning to childish games singing, “Ring around the rosy, Pocket full of poises, Ashes ashes we all fall down!”

And now I am falling, reality and fantasy mix. I hear someone yell “NO!” but only see the moon and the stars; there is music and a rainbow of colors swirling around me, but I hear people gasp and shout “no.” Then reality takes over completely and all I hear is a thump as my body hits the pavement and my soul floats above it.

The music is back and there is color everywhere. No more reality only fantasy. I see a light and follow it to a field where it always rains, where I can always hear the music, where I can always spin, and where I will never fall.

Sunday selections 15

It is that time again, Sunday Selections brought to you by KIM.

Sunday Selections 14

Okay Sunday Selection time. This meme is brought to you by Kim at Frogpondsrock. This week is catch for me these are from when I went to see my nephew when he was in Arkansas Easter Weekend. SO enjoy the cuteness.

Addictions part 7

Yes I went back through to find out what number I was on.

Anyways my new addiction has to do with what unblocked my writers block. It is the music to Spring Awakening. And I know what you are all thinking I have no speakers on my computer that is true I have a CD of the music and listen to it in my car and to make that CD I had to file share with my mom's laptop and will steal hers to listen to the music when I can. However because I have no speakers it has stalled my writing as I don't generally write with other people around so I don't have access to music when I write and I really need it to write. But I have some money in savings and I think my school payment for this set of terms is fairly low and my parents are going to chip in as a Christmas/Birthday present, no I did not get a Christmas present yet and yes my Birthday is in a month from today. So I should hopefully have a new laptop in the next month or so and will be able to get back to writing and all that fun stuff.

So yes all I really listen to right now is the Spring Awakening music and it is wonderful. Now since I wrote all about Spring Awakening in my Writer's block unblocked post I am going to be done for now so...

Peace.

SO

That series I want to do well it is going to have to wait. It would seem that my computer is slowly dieing. I do not have a bad driver or anything like that the motherboard is just slowing giving out or something like that, I have speakers intermittently and recently not at all no matter how many times I restart or shut down my computer. So until I get a new computer there will be no series that requires a mic and speakers.

Happy Easter

I had a great Easter and hope everyone did. So Happy Easter!

Writer's Block Unblocked.

So I have had very bad writer's block for a while now, and I mean like a good year a while now. It has affected/not really affected my blog as things would happen and the addictions post and what not would help me to keep writing on here but other than that I have not been able to work on either of my novels. Sleepless was beginning to bug me, I really wanted to be writing it but I was stuck and very much so stuck. And Confessions was becoming the same way actually I'm still not sure when I am going to pick that one back up to finish it, it is a sad and depressing subject matter and well although I am unblocked on Sleepless I am not sure where I want to go with Confessions right now.

Anyways I am very much so picking back up with Sleepless. I have to go back and tweak some things as I have slightly changed the subplot that is Emma and Leo's relationship but I am much happier with where this will take them in the long run so I don't mind having to go back and change a few small details that I have already wrote.

What broke my writer's block the musical Spring Awakening. It was on Broadway in 2007 and went until 2009 I think and I never got to see it then but I was watching YouTube last weekend and came across some clips and was able to find the whole play with the original cast and really all I can say is wow, it was amazing and has unlocked my head and allowed me to write again. So I am thankful.

It is a very controversial play and was banned in the US until the 1960's it was written in 1890 and is a German play that was adapted into a musical in 2001 I think but it took it until 2007 for it to make it to Broadway and I really wish I could have seen it live. It is something every teen should see in my opinion. I know controversial and teen what a thing to promote but hey if the teens don't then their parents should especially those parents ashamed or too scared to talk to their teens about sex because it is a very good story of what can happen when you keep your children in the dark about that subject. It is not a happy play but hey it is a good play.

So that is it for know my writer's block is gone thanks to Spring Awakening I am off to work on Sleepless now.

Sunday Selections 13

So it is Sunday Selection time again. This week is from my High School Graduation, so I didn't take them also I graduated three years ago this May and have never blogged this before because I didn't start blogging till a few months later. Anyways Sunday Selections is brought to you my Kim at Frogpondsrock.



I had a lot of decorations.


Me and the only friend I still talk to from High school.

Random Stuff and other ramblings

B's birthday was yesterday I was with her all day she was good and had a really nice birthday. Her party was last Saturday it was fun but I hardly knew anyone so that made it a little weird. We are working on potty training and it is not going so hot. It makes me sad since I am the one dealing with the messes but hey that is what it is.

I really am going to blog more I have a series in mind where I sing songs I like and explain why and all that I think I have mentioned this before it is taking me a while because my computer keeps saying I have no speakers, I have a laptop so this is really weird and if it doesn't stop/if my dad can't fix it I will have to take it somewhere to get it looked at.

Mt rents are in Arkansas right now and my mom brother and I are going next week which will mean new and updated picture of the beautiful baby Zander. I have more recent ones now but they are on my phone and I have to find the right cord in order to get them onto the computer.

Sunday Selections 12

So it is Sunday Selection time again. If you want to join in go check it out at the wonderful KIM'S blog. And now two pics of my nephew.

Sunday Selections 11

It is Sunday Selection Time again and of course this is brought to you by KIM

These are some more from ACL 08. The first is of The Foo Fighters they were the last to preform Sunday. The others are random things that were at the festival.

Addiction part I don't know cause I lost count

My latest addiction Rent and the new Glee songs. I have loved Rent for a while but have just recently gotten back into it. I been listening to the songs for a good couple weeks now and am thinking about watching it again soon.

I absolutely love the Glee Original songs they are very catchy. I have been listening to them since they came out after the episode aired.

Which brings me to the idea I have for another series. I like to sing but have not done that for a while and well I would vlog but I would rather write my thought then speak them I will however record myself singing and write the reason I like the song and why I chose it, not sure how many I will do or when the first will be up but it should be soon.

I also promise that my next post will be longer.

Oh my little brother's birthday was a week ago, he had a good time even though he had to go to school. And that was also Aidan's birthday. My sis-in-law and nephew are in Arkansas and I will be visiting them in April I am very excited about that Zander will be 5 months old.

Sunday Selections 10

So it is that time again, Sunday Selections brought to you by the wonderful KIM. Join in it is very fun.

These are pics from a while ago like 07 so I was 16 I think in the one I am in and yes they are of Aidan, I talked to him the other day he had gotten the birthday presents I had sent him and had called to thank me, I am going to have to find time to go visit him.

Oh and I will be posting more I promise, I have a few post ideas in my head so they should be coming soon.