Saturday, May 9, 2009


This is a new direction I am thinking of going with ,my novel. I wrote this yesterday and think it will be a better beginning. I am thinking of making it chapter one though right now it is only two paragraphs.

I’m running, running, running. My lungs are burning; I can feel as my last breaths escape the depths of my lungs. It is so dark the sun disappeared hours ago. I had to get away, I had to get out of that place, I was sick of it, and it was killing me slowly from inside out. I felt like I was dying now but I knew it was the loss of breath. The sand beneath my feet was finally cooling; my feet no longer burned the soles. I knew I had a difficult journey ahead when I started and it was almost over. Running was what I was best at and although I could run forever I could feel my body weakening, it was a strange feeling and at first I could not tell what was happening it took me many hours to figure out that my energy level was depleting. I was out of water and food; I was in the desert running from society, running from the world. I saw the hole in the mountain and picked up my pace I was nearing a place of shelter a place I could stop, possibly I place I could call home, I was so close and then my foot caught on a rock, down I went and everything went dark…

I opened my eyes to two men standing over me, one much older than the other; they looked related, maybe father and son. Then I remembered where I was; who could live out here, no one lived out here, have I been found, are they going to drag me back? So many questioned ran through my head. My head hurt, my back hurt, I hurt all over, the ground was hard and I wanted to sit up. I was dizzy and weak and looking around knew I had not tripped on a rock, from what I could tell I must have just fallen. The younger of the two men step back as the other came closer to me. There were so many other questions and thoughts going through my head that I was unsure what to think of the man walking towards me. He looked kind and like he wanted to help me, but I did not know what was wrong with me, I did not know it I was injured badly or why I had even fallen in the first place. The man knelt down next to me and looked into my eyes. He felt my forehead and grabbed my arm revealing the huge scrap that was on it, blood dripped down my arm and was making a puddle in the sand; my arm was also sticky as sand mixed with the blood and stuck to my arm. My knees were also scrapped but not bleeding. The older man next to me looked at the younger and the younger handed him a bottle of water; the older man poured the water on my arm and then handed me another bottle to drink. I was still dizzy and light headed but the water definitely helped.


Dina said...

I think this is very good writing! You're great at describing things.